First principle: Know what you want.
Second principle: Know why you want it.

With those two facts, you know which way to face.

Next are the 7 skills you’ll need for exercising control of your life.

Skill 1. Know how to turn up and down the intensity of any thought or feeling.

Skill 2. Know how to adjust your self image.

Skill 3. Know how to import strengths.

Skill 4. Know how to release outcome anxiety.

Skill 5. Know how to release identification with “your” history.

Skill 6. Know how to forgive yourself and like yourself the way you are right now.

Skill 7. Know how to mentally replay your successes at will.

And an important addendum – no matter what mistakes you make (and you will), learn to say “Next.”

The truth is, you’ve studied enough self help to know half a dozen methods for achieving those 7 skills. But if you’re typical, you’re not using what you know. Or you’ve used it in a half-assed way and it wasn’t perfect the first time or two you tried it, so you went looking for something magic that won’t require you to practice and learn.

Instead, try this – get back in the saddle. Do the things you already know to do. Then do them again. And again. Till you get good at them.

And that’s the big secret.

Cheers,
Charles

Free – All During July
My Newest eBook
Makin’ Book

You can now download this ebook for free… all during the month of July. Click on the book graphic to get it now.

(EDITED)
The first of August has come and gone, and this free offer has expired. But don’t despair. This ebook IS still available. The price is no longer free, but it’s very, very low for a complete system you can use to write your book shockingly  FAST! If you’re ready to discover how quick, simple and easy this system is, click on the book graphic and go get it today.
(END EDIT)

The month of June has been very quiet here at BullsEye Living.  I’ve been busy writing, creating bonuses to go with the book  and putting up webpages.

The writing part took surprisingly little time. I used my own Rocket-Write™ system to get it done inside 3 weeks.

In this ebook, I lay out the entire system so you can write your own book fast, too. I mean, think about it… you could actually have your own brand new book written and ready by this time next month… or even sooner if you just dive in and do it.

Once I had finished Makin’ Book, then it was time to put together the bonuses and supplemental information, plus the website. The part that took the longest was the website. It always surprises me how many pages, graphics, links and etc. are required. Then comes the testing of everything to make sure it all works together properly.

But no task lasts forever (though it sometimes seems like it will), and today all the pages were uploaded and ready. Can you tell that I like things to happen quickly? Only one month to get everything done – and it seems like a long time because I’ve gotten into the FAST mentality.

My next task – put together a REALLY FAST system for putting up the Websites. I’ll keep you posted on that one.

In the meantime, your next task – if you’re at all interested in writing your own book – is to get Makin’ Book and follow the simple instructions.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

“Gramps,” I said, “What’s the fourth dimension like?” It was a hot August afternoon, the kind where you only want to lie around and pant or drowse on the shady front porch.

I looked down the street. The heat ripples dancing silently above the pavement were the only thing moving. There wasn’t even a breeze to stir the leaves of the big oak standing above us.

Gramps gave a long blink, turned his head slowly toward me, and smacked his lips lightly. “Sonny,” he said, “Why would a coon dog be interested in the fourth dimension?”

I stretched my hind legs further out on the porch behind me and lowered my head to rest on my front paws to show my respect for his viewpoint, but I had no intention of backing down.

“I’m just curious,” I told him. He continued looking at me with that heavy gaze. Finally he gave a slow blink again, and I went on. “Sometimes in the evenin’s when you go over and sit on the front porch with Professor Cooley, doesn’t he talk to you about those kind of things?”

Gramps watched the heat waves do their street dance for a while.

“Sonny, humans just don’t think the same way we dogs do.” Gramps paused to see if I understood him. I raised my head a bit to show I was paying attention. “And lots of times when they seem to be talkin’ to somebody, they’re not really.”

“You mean,” I asked, “You mean like when a dog scratches, but he might not really be chasing a flea?”

“Exactly,” he said. “Sometimes it’s just somethin’ to do… to help a feller feel better. But with humans, it’s somethin’ they do to help them think better.”

I turned that over for a while, then asked, “Doesn’t Professor Cooley teach mathematics over at the college?”

Gramps’ eyes showed his amusement. “Lil’ Famous,” he said to me, “In a lot of ways you’re just like your Daddy. You’re young and strong, and every bit as good as your Daddy at treein’ a coon. But Big Famous didn’t get that name by layin’ around thinkin’. Nossir, he was the most famous huntin’ dog in this end of the state. He loved it. You’re like that, too. So don’t waste your time on understandin’ humans until you’re old and can’t do anything else. Be like your Daddy.”

“Daddy got his head clawed off by a bob-cat when he was just four,” I reminded him. Gramps’ eyes changed from amused to cloudy. I hadn’t meant to be so blunt.

After a while I asked again, “Gramps, what’s the fourth dimension like?” I wasn’t sure he was going to answer me, he waited so long.

“Do you know what the first three dimensions are?” he finally asked.

“I think so,” I told him. “I’ve thought about it some, and it would be like measurin’ this porch. It’s about twenty-five steps long, about eight steps wide, and maybe an easy jump high.”

Gramps’ eyes showed amusement again. “Looks like you have thought about this some, Lil’ Famous.” He paused a bit, then went on. “Since the first three dimensions are just measurements, then the fourth dimension is just a measurement, too.”

I know I must’ve looked blank. Measurement? I regarded the porch first in one direction, then the other. I tried cocking my head sideways. Even that didn’t help.

Measurement?

Walking over to the edge of the porch, I looked down. Still just an easy jump from the ground.

Gramps was looking the other way, panting lightly, paying me no attention.

Measurement? Puzzled, I ambled back to my spot and flopped down. “I can see how long the porch is, how wide it is, and how high it is, but what else is there to measure?

“Lil’ Famous,” he said, “How old do you reckon this porch is?”

This time I went even blanker than before. Why was he changing the subject? I decided to humor him.

“Well, Gramps, I heard you say once that they built this porch when you were a pup, so I guess it’s about fourteen huntin’ seasons old.”

Gramps nodded and blinked his eyes slowly. “And how old do you figure that porch across the street at Widow Hastings’ house is?”

Widow Hastings’ house was in sorry shape. I looked at it doubtfully. The porch was so bad that Sam, the collie pup from down the block, fell through it just last spring. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a porch that’s unsafe for dog or human to lie down on.

“Well, it must be a lot older than this porch.”

“How do you know that, Lil’ Famous?”

“It looks older.”

“Well, it’s not,” mused Gramps. “That porch was built the same season as this one; the Widow just hasn’t had anybody paint it or keep it up.”

“But Gramps, what’s that got to do with the fourth dimension?”

“Sonny, how long something exists IS its fourth measurement.”

“Oh, you mean,” I asked, “You mean these two porches have the same age, so they have the same fourth dimension?”

“No, Sonny. The porch we’re on probably has a longer time measurement. It’s painted and fixed up every couple of huntin’ seasons, so it’ll be standin’ when that one over there has been torn down and hauled away.”

“But we don’t know that for sure, do we Gramps? I mean, this one could burn down tonight, and that one over there might go on for two or three more seasons.”

“That’s right, Sonny. But by thinkin’ ahead and using good judgment, we can try to make things last longer.”

“Like staying home and learning about humans, instead of goin’ out and tanglin’ with bob-cats,” I said.

“Somethin’ like that,” Gramps conceded.

“Well, if that’s the fourth dimension, then what’s the fifth dimension like?”

“Lil’ Famous,” sighed Gramps, “We’ve talked enough about dimensions today. Ask about somethin’ else.”

“Sure, Gramps. How come humans talk to us dogs all the time but they never listen?”

“Maybe,” Gramps said dryly, “maybe we’d better talk about dimensions, after all.”

We’re not talking about navel gazing here, nor narcissistic self-congratulation. It’s more of a detached, non-involved evaluation of someone’s life. It happens to be your life, but we’re looking at it as if it were that of another person, someone you’ve never even met.

True detachment from one’s own life (and self interest) is rare. In this week’s article by Colin Jarvis, he takes us on a brief, impersonal tour through his own life as he asks…

Success? Am I successful?

By Colin Jarvis

I have three houses, four cars, three motorcycles, goodness knows how many computers, some of the best hi-fi systems in the world and retired I when I was 55.

I gain great pleasure from the large workshop I have built. It is so big some of my friends call it a factory; there I can make furniture to my heart’s content.

More important than any of that, after many, many relationships, I finally have a life partner who is utterly wonderful and I have inherited three children only one of which, an early teenager, gives me any cause for concern.

I have also raised over £3 million for good causes, been a director or trustee of many charities, and director and major shareholder of several substantial organisations. I have sailed large boats throughout Europe, climbed some wonderful mountains, produced two shows in the West End of London, appeared, fairly frequently, on radio and television and once got my golf handicap down to 12. I have won major awards for my professional work, won prizes for my photographs, played drums in some pretty successful jazz bands and had articles published in “The Nation”, “The Times” and many other publications.

But Am I successful?

The obvious question is, successful compared to what? I don’t feel particularly successful. I hope I don’t go around expecting people to show me any particular respect. I am just me and I have done what I have done.

When I look back at that list I have just put down I think I must have been reasonably successful. I had no inherited money or business to start me off, and there have been several times in my life when I was extremely poor, but I survived.

However, thinking about this, I feel that the question of “Compared to what?” is vital to answering the question.

Initially I realised there are two possible measures. How does one measure up to one’s ambition and how does one measure up to one’s potential?

You may find this hard to believe but I have never really had any ambition. I have just done those things that I found interesting and challenging. My father once said to me, “If you cannot decide which of two or more things to do, choose the most difficult as you will learn the most from it”. I think that is a pretty good piece of advice.

Since I have never really had any ambition, it is impossible for me to judge whether or not I have succeeded in my ambition.

What about potential? I am very self-critical and try to learn something new every day from my very poor performance and try to improve it. I am absolutely certain I could have achieved a great deal more for myself and for the world at large. Therefore, if I use potential as a yardstick, then I’m very definitely not a success.

Having looked at these two measures I’m not really sure whether they are valid. Self-critical people will always consider themselves failures, and people who are not self-critical will probably consider themselves to be great successes.

Success is probably an accolade that only others can bestow. So let’s ask another question, does it matter whether we are “successful” or not?

As I write this I am beginning to think that it does not matter. Perhaps what we should be caring about is not success but happiness, or something akin to that.

I don’t think happiness is the right thing to seek. Happiness is simply the opposite of unhappiness and during life we will experience both ends of the spectrum to some degree or other.

In my travels throughout the world I have seen people living in the most appalling conditions and I have also met people living at the highest levels. At all levels of society there are both happy and unhappy people. Happiness seems to be something that people either are or are not.

Some years ago I decided that happiness was something one could just decide to be. In the same way I also realised I could consider myself lucky or unlucky. I chose to think of myself as being both lucky and happy, and I’m pretty certain that that attitude of mind has enabled me to be both.

So what is this elusive thing we could try to use to decide whether our lives have been successful?

Worthwhile? No!

Satisfying? No!

What then? How about contentment?

If one is content it implies that one has achieved what one wished to achieve and it also implies that one is feeling reasonably secure about the future. This feeling of security about the future suddenly leaps off the page at me as being something worth exploring.

Let us take a little sidetrack and look at this in a little more detail. Feeling secure about the future does not mean that one believes one can see the future and that it will pan out in the way we expect. If one does feel secure on this basis then one is likely to be disappointed.

Surely this confidence is founded in the ability to cope with the future. This comes from experience and a willingness to be flexible and able to take on whatever challenges one might be faced with. It is not so much the getting rid of uncertainty but rather the confidence that one can cope with whatever happens.

Let us go back to contentment. If you visualise contentment, the kind of picture that springs to mind is sitting under a tree on a summer’s day, looking out across a beautiful scene. The body and mind are peaceful. There is tranquility in the air. It is a state, almost, of meditation.

It is in this tranquil state of mind that one is most aware of what is going on around oneself. It is in this state of mind that one can see opportunities and dangers that are not apparent to other people who are dashing around, achieving. One is – or feels – healthier. There is no internal turmoil.

So perhaps I should ask whether I am content. All I know is, I am mostly content and enjoy this journey called life. Am I truly content? Well that’s another question.

What about you?

Colin Jarvis works with organizations in South-east Asia, the UK and Europe to boost effectiveness through clearer communication. Basically his consultancy encourages people to think for themselves, to have the confidence to do so, and to help them access a good range of values they can live by. But you can’t always come out and tell your clients this, so everything is sold as business efficiency and effectiveness packages.

Back to Charles:
So what about you? Do you experience a measure of tranquility when you think of your circumstances? Or a bit of contentment?

Or are you constantly spinning your mental wheels, obsessing over all the unwanted things that might happen (or are happening)? And how long has it been since you sat yourself down, got quiet, and looked squarely at the conditions of your life without flinching?

This can be a very beneficial thing, and the easy way to do it is to mentally step away from all involvement with your self, with your dramas, and your needs, wants and cravings.

Try looking at yourself the same way you’d look at a random person down the street, or someone who works in an office ten blocks away. Try gaining that same emotional distance from your own life.

The first time I did this, it was accidental, and it impacted me very powerfully.

My life was a tangle back then, and one day while meditating, I happened to be thinking about something that had happened down the street from my apartment. In the midst of that, I turned and mentally looked back at myself, sitting in my chair two blocks away. At that point, I saw myself clearly and suddenly realized that if I were the guy next door, I’d think he was a major excuse-maker, a muck-up who really needed to get his act together.

Please understand – this was a totally unemotional, detached realization. Just a crystal-clear awareness of how the facts added up. There was no element of self-recrimination, nor guilt, nor anything negative. Just a clear, plain and factual knowing. It felt the same way it would if I had looked at the messed-up kid next door and understood more about his problems than he could.

And compassion. Without the buffering armor of self-justification, I felt no need to defend against all that clarity about myself.

I was aware of two things vividly. First, I could see the patterns I’d been running that were bringing me discomfort. And second, I knew there was absolutely no need to criticize myself.

For perhaps the first time ever I felt neither shame nor defensiveness about who I was and how I was living my life. I knew things needed to be changed, but I also understood fairly well what those things were and how to change them.

That’s peace. It’s confidence. And it’s contentment of a sort because this new awareness is not threatening. This is a safe place to be.

And the more often you can get there, the more manageable your life is going to feel.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

Billions of people, all around the world, still live crappy lives. We see starvation, slavery, murder, war, pestilence, human trafficking, pedophilia, rape, domestic violence, the evening news.

How can so much be so wrong in a world so full of teachers and wisdom?

Today’s guest author Russ Hamel suggests that it’s not exactly wrong – at least not in the sense that we believe it to be. In fact, he sees lives of drama as something we eagerly embrace. Disagree? Then read on…

Drama Is a Drug

By Russ Hamel

You go to the movie theater to escape for 2 hours. Which would you rather see:

Animals grazing peacefully in a cool, green pasture nestled in a deep, serene valley surrounded by purple mountains majesty. A beautiful classical music score softly plays in the background, reminiscent of scenes from Soylent Green (how many of you are old enough to remember THAT 1973 flick?)

VS.

Something like the current box-office hit Iron Man II with TONS of tension, conflict and just enough resolution to make you feel better at the end.

Remember, you have to watch either one of these for a full 2 hours!

I don’t know about you, but surveys show that most people (myself included) are opting for the DRAMA! It’s just more FUN!

So here’s my point. You can – AND DO – create everything in your life. Your focus and heart-felt belief makes it so, good or bad. At some level, you’re choosing one or the other because it makes you feel fully ALIVE!

I was raised in a Catholic family. I had a TON of questions that were never answered to my satisfaction. One of those was the quintessential question that ALL of us want to know for sure, “What happens when we die?” I was taught by the nuns, priests and even my parents that I would be in the presence of God, happy for all eternity.

They Can’t Be Serious… Can They?

As early as 8 years old, I recall my response was, “THEN WHAT?”

I had blurry images of myself, sitting on some cloud staring at an old guy, a little drool running down my chin… (insert scratching record sound effect) for HOW LONG DID YOU SAY?

Are you kidding me?

And that’s why, even now, most people are opting for the drama in life, even though they could easily have everything they ever wanted. Drama is a drug and it is extremely addictive.

Never before in the history of mankind has there been such a glut of tips and tools, all proclaiming to help us manifest our every want and desire. I’ve noticed for myself that every single one of them ‘WORKS’ if, and ONLY if, I am truly locked in on the things that I want rather than trying to solve the ‘problems’ of what I lack.

Prayer beads, prayer wheels, focus wheels, as well as methods like EFT and manuals such as Think and Grow Rich are all great and useful to aid and teach FOCUS. However, in and of themselves they have absolutely NO POWER!

If you focus on something, believing that it is already yours, IT IS YOURS! It’s your FOCUS and HEART-FELT BELIEF that makes it so… NOT the method or prop. This works for ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

Try to solve a problem or get away from a bad situation, and like a Boogeyman from a nightmare, the thing grows bigger and chases you! Most people (again myself included) are masters at creating the creeps and chaos for ourselves because the DRAMA is so delicious.

However, by using exactly the same FOCUS and HEART-FELT BELIEF, we could all, as Jesus told the criminal hanging beside Him on the cross, be in paradise this very moment. This is ancient wisdom because it’s THE LAW!

But think about it, “Oh, geez; another perfect day.”

How boring is that?

Intuitively we already know that we have the power to create our lives. We simply choose to use it for the DRAMA!

So the next time you find yourself pissing and moaning about how rotten your life is, remember you are choosing it to be so. You see, the ‘bad’ is good! In fact, it’s ALL good! Drama is a drug and you’re addicted to being fully ALIVE. Yes, the sinners ARE much more fun!

Oh, you naughty…

All the best from Toronto,
Russ and Maggie

The world can seem like a crazy place sometimes…
OK, a LOT of the time! However, no matter what is going on in your life, magic happens when you learn how to choose better feelings now!
You’re Gonna Love That Feeling

Back to Charles:
All that drama… all that excruciating emotional intensity, all that fear and resentment and hate and love and excitement and disappointment and expectation and impatience…

All that engagement and involvement with our big story…

We know that our thoughts create our lives, and we know that we only need to look at our lives to know exactly what’s in our thoughts. Yes, we know that but…

Still we persist, flailing forward through day after day of all that stuff we say we want to change.

So consider… is it still true that actions speak louder than words? If so, then we have to admit that we’re still kidding ourselves. No other conclusion fits the evidence.

And why? For most of us, it’s because we have habits. Habits that we’ve practiced and polished until we’re good at doing things our way. To change anything we currently do, we’d have to act counter to those firmly established habits, in effect, rebelling against what we consider to be our very selves.

We’d have to start taking actions that require us to think and be consciously present for a while, deliberately staying out of the old grooves of our well-practiced habits. And we’d have to keep doing that until we built some new habits. And then, habits being what they are, the addiction would start all over again.

Yep, we’re hooked all right.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

Here are two.

First is Dan Poynter. He’s probably influenced as many new writers as anybody. And yet, he’s a total non-celebrity outside the publishing/self-publishing field. Poynter wrote his first book on skydiving decades ago because he couldn’t find any good books on the subject.

Then, in his search for information on how to self-publish, he also found little or nothing on the topic. So he wrote a book on that as well. And then another, and another.

Here’s a brief excerpt from one of Poynter’s seminars.
…..

Dan Poynter – How To Write Your First Non-Fiction Book

…..

Next, Mark Victor Hansen tells how he and Jack Canfield planned their own book series, and how you and I – in fact, anybody – can write books in one minute a day.
…..

The Chicken Soup for the Soul Story
Mark Victor Hansen: How to Write a Book Part 1

“You told us,” one audience member said, “that you’re selling an audio product, and that you sell it for $44. That seems high to me. How do you justify that? How do determine what price is fair and proper?”

So I told the audience a little story. Several years ago, a friend of mine, John Harricharan, wrote a little ebook – maybe 18,000 words – and put up a sales page on the Internet. John told me that he was thinking, ‘Okay, this is a pretty short book, so I can’t charge much for it.’

He priced it at something like $17, and almost nobody bought. John was about to take the whole thing down when one of his marketing friends asked if he had tried selling it for a higher price. Well, no he hadn’t, so just for the heck of it, he raised the price to $24.

And this little, short, 18,000 word ebook sold better.

‘Hmmm… that’s peculiar,’ John thought. So he tried it at $27. And his sales conversions rose further. So now he became curious. He raised the price again. And again. And each time, the sales conversions improved.

Sales didn’t level off till he reached $97, so he left it there for the next several years. And for several years he’s been selling that little ebook – The Power Pause - for what looks like a ridiculous price. Why? Because customers say that’s how much it’s worth.

The point of this little story is that the value of your ebook – the value of any product is not what you think it should be. It’s what customers are willing to pay for your product. It has nothing to do with “fairness” or what other ebooks are selling for.

Sales Environments – Good or Bad

Now, the worst place in the world to sell your book may be bookstores. Those folks know very little about building the value of the books they’re trying to sell. They only know how to line your book up on the shelf along with all the others. The customer can take your book or leave it. That’s cold. True, they may do aisle displays, or turn some books face forward, and they may even have an author in for a book signing, but as value-building goes, that’s all pretty insipid.

The best way to sell your book is letting the world know about it, letting everyone know just how special your book is, telling them exactly what your book can do for them. A sales website is good for that. You’re only representing one book, so you can do a good job of telling the visitor about the benefits.

But there are other ways to do this job. Take the book Chicken Soup for the Soul as an excellent example.

Rocket-Boosting Your Book Sales

Have you ever read all the activities that Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen do every day, every week, every month? They were determined from the beginning that they would never leave the fate of their book in the hands of the publisher, nor in the hands of – God forbid – bookshops.

So Canfield and Hansen went out and interviewed a bunch of successful authors – writers who had books on the bestseller lists. They asked a simple question: “What would you do today to sell a million books as fast as possible?” They wrote down all the answers they received, and ended up with 1,094 different activities for promoting a book. It’s exhausting just to read it all. They were overwhelmed by that list, so they broke it down and decided to do things in rotation. Just five or six or seven things a day.

But every day.

They ended up taking a nice little book that dozens of publishers had refused to touch, a general-interest little book that had no niche market, and through massive, massive action and incredible persistence, built it into a worldwide bestseller. They turned it into a major brand. Once it was known by just about every person on earth, THEN they started niching it down into a wide variety of market segments.

They now have so many niches that it seems like a caricature of a book campaign:

• Chicken Soup for the Teenager’s Soul
• Chicken Soup for the Dog Lover’s Soul
• Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul
• Chicken Soup for the Kid’s Soul
• Chicken Soup for the New Mom’s Soul
• Chicken Soup for the Girl’s Soul
• Chicken Soup for the Prisoner’s Soul
• Chicken Soup for the Girlfriend’s Soul
• Chicken Soup for the Grandma’s Soul
• And on and on…

But first came the simple, generic “Chicken Soup for the Soul.”

So how long can it be before we see Chicken Soup for the Alien Invader’s Soul in the stores.

Frankly, by conventional standards, their book should never have succeeded. No reputable publisher wanted anything to do with it. And yet, succeed it did. It succeeded because Canfield and Hanson made it their personal mission to build towering perception of value. And instead of raising their price to $97, they got (seemingly) half the people on earth to buy one of their books at regular bookstore prices.

They did it through enormous dedication. Through persistence so dogged that they make the word “fanatic” seem lukewarm.

They believed in their book. If you’ve written a book, do you believe in it that much?

Or if you’re a coach, how convinced are you that people will benefit from hiring you? If you’re an accountant, or a school teacher, or a truck driver, how much do you believe in the services you’re providing?

Or is it just “something you do”?

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
– Robert Collier, author of The Secret of the Ages.

When Hansen and Canfield started, they sought all kinds of advice on making their book a success, so they went to an expert, Ron Scolastico. He told them that “if you go to a large tree every day and take five swings at it with a very sharp axe, eventually, no matter how huge that tree is, it’ll fall.”

Simple, huh?

So these two men set themselves the task of doing at least five promotional activities every day. Interviews, radio talk shows, trade shows, TV appearances, book signings, press releases, book fairs, seminars… you name it, they went out and did it. Day after day, year after year. They didn’t get tired of what they were doing, either. Nor bored.

Because they continued to believe in their book(s).

And think about this – what if you were that consistent? What if you sat down and wrote just five 300-word pages every day. In one year you’d have 1,825 pages written.

In ten years that’d be over 18,000 pages… almost 5.5 million words… nearly 110 books of 50,000 words each.

Ten years of simply writing 5 pages a day.

Remember the old rule… writers write. That’s the only thing that opens the door to being a writer. Good writer, bad writer, it doesn’t matter. They write.

Isaac Asimov was famous for turning out something like 500 books in his lifetime. That’s what consistent effort accomplishes.

Back in the sixties, I read nothing but science fiction. I was quite obsessive about it. And in 1968 or so, a new writer showed up. I read his first book, and it was truly bad. I didn’t read any of his next several books, but I remembered his name (because the quality had been memorably low).

Then in the seventies, the market shifted and, thanks partly to Stephen King, horror fiction became a huge fad.

This new writer obviously noticed the market changing, and he changed with it. He began turning out horror books. I read one of those, and it wasn’t a lot better, but he had improved a bit. Nevertheless, he kept on writing. And writing. Under his own name, plus several pen names, he churned out up to eight books a year.

And he continued improving.

These days he’s quite a good writer with a nicely lyrical style that occasionally sings beautifully. Over the years, Dean Koontz has had ten hardcovers and 13 paperbacks on the New York Times bestseller list.

When he began, he wasn’t a very good writer, but he WAS a good businessman. He knew the power of keeping doggedly at it. AND he appreciated the wisdom of finding a market – a group of buyers who want to spend money on something specific – and putting a product in front of them that they want to buy.

I hope you paid attention to that last paragraph because there’s tremendous value in it.

So whether you write, or you coach, or you do anything else, here are four questions for you:

1. Do you really believe what you’re doing gives value?
2. Are you persistent? Or do you get restless and want to wander off and do something else?
3. Do you have a long-range vision of how you want to impact your world in 10, 20, 40 years?
4. Do you know specifically, exactly who your target market is?

Answer these four questions (with anything other than “no”) and you’ll probably have a very good business.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

By the way, one of the very best resources for authors is Dan Poynter’s Para Publishing website. Here’s a page where you can access an entire library online about writing, publishing, selling, promoting and fulfilling.

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Oh, and John Harricharan’s Power Pause ebook? He once tried to retire it. Just took it off the market. But people kept writing to him – they wanted it back – so he put it online again.

And now John has converted it into a video (actually a series of 12 videos). You can view the entire Power Pause online for free.

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And if you’re wondering what it takes to be a successful writer, here’s an article by Dee Power (very well known and respected on Warrior Forum) which tells you the nine characteristics you must have (or cultivate) to be a successful writer.

Living in Thailand, I enjoy getting together with other foreigners (“Farang”) once in a while, so I attend the Expats Club every two weeks.

A couple of months ago, after one of the meetings, I went up and asked the meeting director if he thought anybody might be interested in a speech on how to write a book fast, put it on the Internet and sell it. He said he’d take my suggestion to the organizers’ committee and see what they thought.

It took them a month to get back to me, but they finally decided that yes, they wanted me to come and talk.

So today, May 22, I got up and gave my first ever presentation on a non-inspirational topic. And the audience was amazing. During the session, I asked how many people had already written a book. Out of an audience of around 100, I was surprised to see about 15 or 20 hands go up. That’s a pretty high concentration of doers.

Chris, the MC, said that’s the first time he had ever seen virtually everybody in an expat audience taking notes. I think it might be because I gave loads of nuts-n-bolts, how-to information. A whole crowd of people came up afterward with questions and offers to do lunch to “go over a few questions.”

Now, the funny thing is, when I first mentioned this idea, it was almost an idle thought. But as I was putting the speech together, the idea grew. And grew.

The other day it occurred to me that if I could tell people how to write a book really fast, then maybe I should just do exactly that – and practice what I preach – by writing a book fast on how to write a book fast. Aside from the obvious double-talk, it seemed like a pretty good idea, so I sat down and in about an hour scribbled down an outline for the book… titled Makin’ Book. The next day I wrote all of chapter one.

So just because it’s fun, I’m continuing with this project. It should be finished on June 15 or before. When it’s done and ready for readers, I’ll post a notice here.

Update June 30, 2010: The book was finished on time. Then I took another couple of weeks to add a number of bonus resources to go with it and to create a website. Everything is posted on the website, and it’s all available for you to download now.

Later, I’ll also be holding a 12 week Rocket-Write™ coaching class based on the material in the book. Those who take the class can expect to come out the other end with a finished ebook in PDF format ready for them to set it up and sell it on the Internet.

More info to come.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

If you often find yourself with an oversupply of anxiety and frustration in your life, it’s always – ALWAYS – because you’re emotionally attached to something that may (or may not) happen.

Remember the difference between a psychotic and a neurotic? The psychotic believes that 2 + 2 = 5. The neurotic, on the other hand, knows that 2 + 2 = 4, but he just HATES it.

Both are suffering from the attachment-aversion habit.

Today, guest contributor Peter Vajda fills us in on this twin condition, and he suggests some measures for correcting it.

Attachment and Aversion – The Root Case of Pain and Suffering

By Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C.

“This business of hozho. The way I understand it … I’ll use an example. Terrible drought, crops dead, sheep dying. Spring dried out. No water. The Hopi, or the Christian, maybe the Moslem, they pray for rain. The Navajo has the proper ceremony done to restore himself to harmony with the drought. You see what I mean. The system is designed to recognize what’s beyond human power to change, and then to change the human’s attitude to be content with the inevitable.”
- in ‘Sacred Clowns’ by Tony Hillerman

I want what I don’t have; I don’t want what I have

Many spiritual traditions, like Buddhism, tell us pain and suffering – mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and psychological – arise from attachment and aversions.

An attachment is an intense desire, craving, thirst, need, clinging and the like to be something I am not, do something I can’t do or have something I don’t have – related to, for example, health, appearance, finances, personal environment, career, relationships, personality or neediness around elements such as attention, recognition, security, love, control, ideas, beliefs and the like.

An aversion is an intense preoccupation with some aspect or quality about the Self that I possess or another possesses and that I am resisting and resenting – related to, for example, health, appearance, finances, personal environment, career, relationships, personality or neediness around elements such as attention, recognition, security, love, control, ideas, beliefs and the like.

In both cases, my intention, attention, focus and emotional and psychic energy are working overtime to attract or resist. It’s this incessant focus on the object of the attachment or aversion that is the root cause of our pain and suffering.

What does attachment look and feel like?

Attachment is like an addiction or hook which triggers a reaction in me: I must be, I must do or I must have ___(fill in the blank with your attachments)___ and if I can’t be, do or have, then I experience some degree of pain or suffering. Or if I cannot rid myself or another of the object of my aversion, then pain and suffering result.

The downside of attachments is that, inevitably, your relationship to them becomes tenuous – producing stress, anger, resistance, resentment, anxiety, fear, and the like. Attachment and aversions cannot “not be” like that. It’s inherent in the nature of attachment – like reaching for something beyond your grasp.

Take a moment and look at your attachments (or aversions) and reflect on how much discomfort you experience in reacting to them. You want your attachments to create a certain positive sense of reality for you and what you often find is just the opposite reality – not feeling loved, supported, smart, beautiful, healthy, wealthy, and on and on.

When your inner happiness and peace depend on your external attachments and aversions, you’ll never experience an authentic inner state of peace. More often, you’ll experience some flavor of consistent frustration. But, you think by increasing the intensity with which pursue the object of your attachments or aversions, you’ll experience a greater degree of happiness or inner peace. How has that approach to life honestly been working for you up to now?

Honestly?

The antidote to attachment – detachment (not unattachment

“He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.”
- Meister Eckhart

Freedom from pain and suffering comes through our release from attachments and aversions. Detachment means taking conscious control over our attachments so they stop controlling us.

Viewing life from a place of detachment does not mean we are unattached – i.e, cold, uncaring, etc. What detachment means is that we are living “inside” our Self – contained within our Self – so as not to be driven by externals.

When we’re detached, it’s impossible for us to get “hooked” by another’s (or our own) wants, needs, emotions or feelings. We’re not upset or manipulated by others, or by our own ego-created obsessions, desires and cravings. Detached, we can feel caring, empathic and compassionate towards others, and our Self, without becoming foggy or confused about how we think, feel or act. We don’t get caught up in others’ (or our own) stories or drama. Nor do we need others to be a certain way.

Curiously, what drives much of our unhappiness, and even insanity, is our addiction to our attachments – which, mistakenly, we feel will bring us happiness and peace. Nothing is further from the truth.

The truth is that surviving handily in this world, with our happiness and sanity intact, demands detachment, letting go from those people, places, things, and ideas (ours and others’) that drain or manipulate our energies.

How do I practice detachment?

Simple (though not always easy) – it’s by becoming a witness, watcher and observer of your Self. Moving as effortlessly as you can and navigating through life – at work, at home, at play and in relationship – without an ego-based agenda. We see what we see, we notice what we notice and we interact with those with whom we interact – but – with curiosity, without efforting or resisting without attachment or aversion. We observe, witness and watch without becoming emotionally involved, without judgment.

Watching your self, for example, becoming emotional around money, or appearance, or possessions, or becoming fearful around another person, or anxious in an uncomfortable or unpleasant circumstance, and being still, quiet and curious rather than emotionally reactive is the practice of detachment.

The reason watching and observing are so powerful is because when you observe yourself obsessing about the object of your attachment or aversion, your level of consciousness is heightened to the degree that you will begin to stop doing what doesn’t serve you. You cannot observe and react simultaneously – it’s impossible.

Detachment is not a passive state

Detachment is not a dissociative state where one is less conscious or even unconscious, in denial or passive. When detached, you are consciously aware and engaged in your experience but you are not attached to outcomes or obsessed with needing to be in control.

Detachment is not about “caving.” Detachment means you take “right action” as it’s called in Buddhist terms. You can be detached and be a “can-do” person at the same time. But, again, you’re not attached to outcomes. You do what your heart feels is right. You move and you act. You just don’t allow your ego to get caught up in any preconceived outcomes.

Detachment is not about giving up what we want. It’s about not obsessing over the object toward which we direct our desires. When we detach from the object – person, place, thing, idea, etc. – we contain our energy, power and life force (instead of giving them away).

Detachment means accepting the fact that life is challenging, and facing our life’s challenges. When we let go of cravings, desires and attachments, we face life (even death) with equanimity – with nobility, integrity, dignity, respect, and openness to life’s lessons that our challenges are presenting.

“The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.”
- Zen Saying

Letting go of attachments and aversions supports our soul to experience a clear mental state where we understand – really understand from a higher/deeper perspective – how to control our energies, with a sense of real self-love and empowerment, so our ego personality is not obsessed with (our or others’) needing to do, to be, or have in a self-destructive way.

One of the ego’s main beliefs is that we are separate from everyone else. The ego lives from a zero-sum, survival-of-the-fittest perspective. So, to survive, our ego is driven to nurture more and more attachments (and aversions) to people, places, things, possessions, ideas, beliefs, relationships and the like. Fearing loss (even loss of a belief, premise, idea or life itself) is a threat to the survival of our ego. From the ego’s perspective, competition, and self-interest are absolutely necessary to maintain survival. And attachments feed our obsession with surviving.

In this place, contentment, cooperation, collaboration and compassion (first with our Self, and then with others) replace fear – the driver of attachment and aversion. When we let go of our attachments we enter a state of soul-filled equanimity – a state of harmony, balance and connection with our Higher Self – where we know that everything is unfolding according to a Universal or Divine plan.

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

• What are you attached to that causes you suffering in some way? What don’t you have that you crave or what do you have that you resist?
• When you sense a deep desire, craving, or attachment, do you ever consider what you may be trying to escape from?
• Have you ever watched or observed yourself from “outside” yourself? What was that like? What did you see or discover about yourself?
• Whom or what are you holding on to?
• What do you feel you are lacking – that you need to get it from someone or something?
• Attachment equals selfishness. What does that mean to you?
• Holding on reflects a lack of self love. Would you agree? Why, why not?
• Can you remember your earliest attachments or aversions when you were growing up? How did those attachments or aversions affect your experience of love, support or comfort?

SpiritHeart – Coaching for Essential Well-BE-ing
— at the intersection of body, mind, emotion and spirit
Values-Based Coaching, Counseling and Training
Phone: 770.804.9125 (Atlanta, GA, USA)
E-mail: pvajda [AT] spiritheart [DOT] net
www.spiritheart.net and www.ahchiyo.com
“What makes you think work and meditation are two different things?”
— Buddha at Work

Back to Charles:
As Peter points out, detachment is neither a lack of caring nor an absense of interest in results. It’s being emotionally independent from them.

Years ago I heard a story from John, the president of a multi-million dollar corporation. Tornadoes and massive flooding had just destroyed their main plant, most of their offices, and part of their warehouse, trucks and shipping depot.

John told how, standing there in the middle of the devastation, he went into a frantic rant. Panicked, he was shouting about how they were ruined, how they didn’t have the resources to rebuild quickly enough to save the company, and all their employees and customers would be forced to go elsewhere. There was no hope.

Meantime, Wayne, the company’s CEO, found a usable office chair and sat at what was left of somebody’s desk, doodling on some scrap paper. John was convinced Wayne was in shock and had lost all touch with reality.

Finally, after shouting and waving his arms for a good half hour, John stopped and yelled at Wayne, “Dammit, why don’t you say something? Don’t you even care?”

He said Wayne just smiled and said, “We’ll have to fix this mess. Let’s do this.” And he handed John the scrap of paper he’d been scribbling on. It was the outline of a plan for rebuilding.

That plan was ingenious. It would enable them to approach their banks for an expanded line of credit, set up temporary shipping through regular carriers, and arrange enough office space to accommodate their staff until new buildings could be put up. It covered every important point, minimizing downtime, and more importantly, it led to a bigger, more streamlined system that allowed room for major expansion in the future.

John said that’s the day he learned the real meaning of detachment.

Ever watch a top-ranked martial artist? He can handle any kind of attack from any direction and yet remain utterly detached. He is a whirlwind of action, highly focused and effective – and very busy – but there is never a hint of worry or fear.

It’s possible to intensely intend a result, while never becoming emotionally invested in the outcome. That’s detachment.

Now… what situations do you face right now? How would detachment allow you enough emotional space to think clearly and act decisively?

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

Maybe you’ve been working to build up your confidence because you feel a deep lack in that area. Well, the good news is, you may have been trying to solve the wrong problem.

Today’s guest author Willie Horton suggests that instead of confidence, what you’re looking for may lie in an entirely different direction. Pay close attention as he compares…

Self-Confidence, Presence and Leadership

By Willie Horton

You know the old expression – “They’re a born leader!”? Is there any such thing – or can we all be leaders? Is there any secret that can be learned – that we can all learn? Or are some “leaders,” and most of us “followers”?

Well, first of all, let’s get a few facts straight. Most people who find themselves in leadership positions, wouldn’t be able to lead themselves out of a paper bag! They might have built up a veneer of self-confidence to get them to where they are – but that’s all self-confidence is, a veneer.

The Personality Disguise

Self-confidence is a cloak that builds and protects your personality, or your ego. Your personality is not who you really are, it’s who you think you are – warts and all – based on the self-perceptions that you learned during your formative years. Self-confidence merely bolsters the ego and, in fact, removes you even further from your true capabilities and inner potential.

There’s a world of difference between the self-confident personality and someone with presence or charisma. People with presence are true leaders – whether they even have thought about it in those terms or not. So, what’s the difference between the “normal” person and the person who exudes presence?

Very simple really – and we can all exude presence. You see, decades of research prove that “normal” people use only a small percentage of their mental capability to focus on the present moment – the here and now.

Generally speaking, your subconscious mind is looking at the old programs that create your self-perception, which were installed during your childhood. In other words, your subconscious mind is living in the past. All the while, your conscious mind is being distracted by random thoughts – approximately, fifty thousand of them every day. No wonder your mind wanders!

Generally speaking, these random thoughts are worries or distractions about the outturn of events, or looking forward (to the weekend, the holidays, meeting up with your friends tonight). In other words, your conscious mind is living in the future. What all this amounts to is that only about 1% or 2% of you is actually present, in the present.

Are You All There? Or Here?

People with presence are simply a little (or, in some cases, a lot) more present than all the “normal” people who are not all here at all. They are more focused in the present moment and are, therefore, more present. Surely, that’s what the word “presence” actually means! Being more present, “normal” people notice them as being different – people with presence stand out from the crowd. And, as a result, they make more of an impression – they are more impressive.

Some “leaders” do it naturally. Others have learned it. We can all learn it. In fact, it comes naturally to every one of us too – we’ve just forgotten how to do it. You see, having presence is simply a question of being more focused in the present moment – more than the pathetic 1-2% that is the “norm”. And we all were experts at paying attention to the present moment when we were young children. (If you have children, just look at the way they get engrossed in their play, watching television, etc.)

Re-train your mind to be present – by paying attention to your five senses. Come to your senses. Appreciate the present moment by seeing, feeling, hearing smelling and tasting what’s going on. If you go through these simple steps, your mind will get used to being more here – and it will wander less.

If you’re with friends, really listen to what they’re saying, rather than thinking about what you’ll say next. If you’re playing sports, really feel the strain in your legs and arms, rather than thinking about something that happened beforehand or thinking that your opponent is better than you (that’s actually a self-fulfilling prophecy!).

The Distraction of Likes and Dislikes

If you’re in a meeting with someone you don’t like, stop thinking that useless thought, listen to what they’re really saying (not what you think they’re saying) and get involved – really involved. If you’re playing with your children, don’t try to wash the dishes and do the laundry at the same time – really play with them, rather than going through the motions.

But, most of all, give yourself the space and time to re-train your mind to pay attention – simply to notice and observe the present moment, using your five senses. You could go for a walk – just to do that. Not to “clear your head” or “think things through” – just to appreciate the here and now. You could allocate time to sit in the park – just experiencing the here and now. If you workout, you could turn off your iPod and really focus on the muscles you’re using.

The key point is this. If you want to get mentally fit and have presence, a little time set aside for mental training goes a very long way. And we can all do it.

Willie Horton was born and educated in Dublin, Ireland. An ex-Accountant and ex-Banker, he has worked with business leaders for thirteen years, enabling them understand how their state of mind creates their lives. Clients describe the results as ‘unbelievable’ and ‘life-changing’. Willie now lives with his wife and children in the French Alps. For more information, visit: http://www.gurdy.net

Back to Charles:
How long has it been since you let yourself be simply aware and present, without your likes and dislikes, attitudes, tastes and preferences bobbing up and getting in the way?

Our minds are usually filled to overflowing with commentary about what’s happening around us. And we think that’s consciousness. It’s not.

There’s a part of you, fairly deep inside, that knows without words. Without opinions. Without your habitual attachments or aversions (loves or hates). And that silent, wordless part – that’s where your real consciousness dwells.

Think about it. When you’re talking with someone, the words you say come from somewhere, right? But the thought that the words are describing – where does it come from? Someplace deeper, someplace beneath our customary, everyday, monkey thinking.

Let’s say you see a food you always enjoy – maybe it’s chocolate cake, or beef steak, or sushi, or a Ceasar salad, whatever – and before you have the physical reaction of “oh, yum!”, a part of you knows what that food is. The yum reaction comes milliseconds after the recognition.

And that inner part which knows without words – that’s the part that can simply be present.

However, we have years of laying a veneer, a mental monolog, over our true awareness. We do a running commentary of everything, explaining to ourselves, with words, what we are already being aware of. And we’ve gotten into the habit of mistaking this overlay of commentary for our consciousness. It’s laughable, really.

How long has it been since you sat in a mall, or on a riverbank, and were just present? No inner monolog on this person or that tree. No reactions at all. Just a steady stream of conscious recognition of everything that passes, without allowing any values to be attached to what you’re seeing, hearing and feeling.

If you’d like to have more presence, this is a simple way to start practicing it. Do more practice and you’ll build up more skill.

Eckhart Tolle spontaneously went into a state like this and stayed there for months. His book, The Power of Now, is a classic on enlightenment and living in the present moment.

Maybe you’ve already had occasional flashes of this experience in the past. If so, what did you get from them?

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles