Ever hear somebody say you’ve got to “find your passion”? I used to hear that, and they almost made it sound like passion is some kind of colored rock – just lying out there under a bush – waiting for the lucky day I’d somehow stumble across it.

Well, passion is a funny word to begin with, and we use it pretty loosely. We often say “passion” to mean a strong, uncontrollable fit of emotion.
……….“He flew into a passion of rage at the insult.”
……….“The lovers were swept away by their passion.”
……….“This murder was a crime of passion.”

And I don’t know about you, but that kind of passion doesn’t sound very desirable or trustworthy. Passionate love, or passion in my work aren’t bad ideas, but it all sounds so unmanageable – sort of like a thundering herd of wild and fractious horses.

Little wonder, then, that many of us can’t bring ourselves to go out and “find your passion.” Heck, who wants unbridled emotions sweeping us away at the most inconvenient times?

Complicating things further, we’re also told that nothing great is ever achieved without passion. So here we sit, stuck between a rock and a hard place, with the rock being a fear of murderous rages and the hard place being our right and proper desire to do big things in life.

Rewording the Meaning of Passion

Right here I’m going to offer what I think is a logical solution. How about we retire this troublesome word “passion” but keep the desirable qualities it stands for.

This first crossed my mind a few years back.

I was in a coffee shop, eating my burger and fries and eavesdropping on two guys at the next table. I still remember their names – Frank and Eddie. Their conversation went like this:

Now, I suspect that Frank’s wife was responding the way she was because Frank was also not being very eager or enthusiastic. Everything in their relationship had probably become routine, un-adventurous, un-exciting. The problem was, Frank could clearly see what he was not getting. But was almost certainly blind to what he was not giving.

Making Passion More User Friendly

Hearing that conversation, I had a sudden realization. Sitting there chewing my burger, I saw what had been missing from my life. My work – in fact, most of my life – was as flat as Frank’s situation. I began to realize, dimly, that I was trying to get life to give me all the good stuff, while I was investing virtually none of my own eagerness or enthusiasm. And without these qualities, there was no fire in any of my day-to-day experiences. Life was rolling over and saying “Well… okay…” but it wasn’t excited by my advances.

Life was meeting me halfway, but I didn’t like where the halfway point lay.

From that day I gradually began injecting extra enthusiasm into my dealings with other people. And you know, the darndest thing started happening. Others began showing more enthusiasm in return.

At work, I deliberately looked for and found reasons to be more eager. And there too, results changed for the better.

Life was still meeting me halfway, but now the halfway point was in a much better neighborhood.

So the next time you hear an expert advising you to “find your passion,” you may want to simply rephrase it into “find your eagerness and enthusiasm.” I suggest that just changing the words will make things feel more manageable, more doable, and give you an armload more confidence.

It worked for me.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

Checking out at the supermarket recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. I apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days“.

The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations“.

She was right about one thing–our generation didn’t have the green thing in “Our” day. So what did we have back then? After some reflection and soul-searching on “Our” day, here’s what I remembered we did have….

Back then, we returned milk bottles, pop bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s nappies because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 240 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Wales. In the kitchen, we blended & stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right. We didn’t have the green thing back then.

We drank from a water fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mums into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

If you’re an old-timer a person of extensive experience like me and getting tired of all those “lessons in conservation” then you may want to pass this post along.

Cheers,
Charles

Even apart from the new year period, the fact is, most folks spend their time focusing on the ways things go wrong: What didn’t get done; what I don’t like, can’t do, am not suited to, wouldn’t be interested in, and anyway it’s just an awful lot of bother. That’s the best worn pathway in most of our minds.

Two main ways most folks talk about new year’s resolutions: One way is with great resolve and hope. The future gleams before us anew, and we’re giddy with the thought of making a fresh start. A start in which we won’t be shackled by any failings and weaknesses that might have hobbled us in the past. This attitude is most common around the first week or two in any new year.

The second way we talk about hopeful new ambitions is with a wry, not-quite-cynical-but-close-to-it grin of dismissal. We may be apologetically pushing away our own pretensions of optimism, or we might be discussing someone else’s obviously overblown and hopeless ambitions.

However, as the Buddha said,

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.”

And in another place,

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”

Notice what I wrote above? That the most common habitual way of thinking about ourselves, about our hopes and our aspirations is dismissive, even slightly cynical? Indeed we are what we think.

Notice also that the other way, the optimistic and hopeful way is on the right track, but it has little staying power. At the first signs of opposition it usually cools like stale steam and drips away in tiny dribbles.

So in the spirit of the new (possibly world-changing) new year, I have a different suggestion, one that I like to call New Year’s Realizations.

More about that in a moment, but first, I’d like to share with you some extremely well-thought-out observations and suggestions from guest author Peter Vajda on ways we use to keep ourselves inside the failure fence.

One Way We Might Subvert Resolve in 2012
By Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C.

New Year’s resolutions are on the tip of most everyone’s pen and tongue. Thousands of suggestions, “how tos,” and “best ways” are being offered to help folks make, and carry through on, their New Year’s resolutions. Sadly, as in past years, 98% of those who make resolutions will have given up or failed by Valentine’s Day.

Three major causes of failure are:

When we understand the nature of the “victim consciousness,” we gain insight into how true and real change occurs.

The victim is rife with self-limiting and self-sabotaging habits and patterns of living, working and relating. It is these self-limiting patterns that prevent us from do-ing and be-ing from a place of integrity, responsibility, maturity, accountability, dedication, and commitment. It is our subconscious drives that cause us pain and suffering.

When we look deeply inside, honestly and self-responsibly, we uncover our shadow self – a self, feeling victimized, that lives a life of greed, ruthlessness, egocentricity, blind ambition, irresponsibility, inaction, and/or self-sabotage. Choosing to reflect and become conscious of these habits, patterns and programming in an effort to release them supports us to evolve to a place where clarity and a truthful picture of our inner and outer realities will serve us well.

When we look deeply inside and reflect, we become more able to transmute the energies of our self-limiting habits and patterns into the energy of authenticity, integrity and trustworthiness – supported by our inner qualities of courage, commitment and steadfastness.

Four characteristics of a victim mentality are:

• lack of clarity about our goals: ping-ponging between and among realistic and unrealistic or illusory expectations and goals, and blaming others for our lack of clarity;
• inability to deal with time and resource limits and constraints and blaming other people and events for our inability to use time and other resources effectively and intelligently;
• confusion around the law of cause and effect – lack of awareness about how we are creating/causing the current events in our life and a lack of clarity about how we can change our thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, intentions, behaviors and actions to effect positive change, believing that my issues are not about “me” but about others who are responsible for my issues; and,
• denial that my life choices have positive or negative mental, physical, emotional and spiritual effects on my overall health and well-be-ing, and that my pain and suffering are caused by some external event or circumstances.

Mired in the quicksand of victimization, we find ourselves constantly projecting our anger and negativity on to events, circumstances and others for our predicament. We project our (unconscious) inner frustration with ourselves out towards anyone or anything we feel we can blame for our state in life. Sadly, we’re actually creating our own universe but blaming others because it’s not what we want.

Taking time for honest and conscious self-reflection supports us to take responsibility for our self – including our “dark side.” Self-reflection sheds light on the “stories” we make up to avoid taking responsibility for how we project our “stuff” on to the world. Self-reflection supports us to identify how our emotional programming – anger, fears – create our lives at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

When we are honest and clear about our wants and needs, and what we are willing to do, we can create a solid foundation for our personal growth and development. We attract and relate with others who share the same self-empowering life view.

When we understand the lessons we need to learn from our current situation, what we need to do becomes obvious. Then we have to choose to take action. However, this understanding requires focus, commitment, consistency and compassion for our self.

Spending time in our inner world through meditation, silence, journaling, etc., is both emotionally and spiritually nourishing. This nourishment supports awareness of the “how” and “why” things appear in our lives – how we are creating our personal universe. Time in our inner world nurtures our capacity for self-love and self-kindness – which support us to create and inhabit a love-based, victim-less personal universe.

In this place of safety and protection, we begin to extricate our self from a victim mentality and move forward from a place of positivity and steadfastness. In our inner world, there can be no victimization as it’s a place of neutrality – a place of soul qualities – clarity, peacefulness, groundedness, stillness, surrender and allowing.

Self-reflecting helps us observe how we use our emotions to create our inner and outer worlds, our worlds of victimization. For example, are we being “nice” to accommodate others in our attempt to feel acknowledged, seen and loved or because we authentically wish to engage in adult, heart-felt, mature relationships – are we holding our physical, emotional and psychological boundaries with others or allowing others to threaten and abuse our boundaries so we can feel wanted and liked?

Once we have cultivated support, self-love and solid ground within, we can expand our space to include others. But we must be very conscious not to include any event, circumstance, idea, thing or person who will take us away from our center, from our self-love and move us back into feeling the victim.

When we surrender to someone else’s agenda, at work, at home, at play and in relationship, we enter their universe as a victim. The important question is why we allow others to control us. Perhaps,

Inner work and self-reflection, done diligently can often support us to

Inner work and self-reflection can support us to focus on what really matters, to let go of what holds us back, to trust our soul and Spirit for guidance and to use our core, inner strength (not “willpower” which hardly ever works) to take positive action for our self instead of engaging in self-destructive and self-sabotaging actions, releasing our self from the stranglehold of victimization.

Many “resolutions” are not conscious choices. They are knee-jerk reactions to something we don’t like about our self – and it’s usually about our “packaging” or some surface issue. True “resolve” requires a deep, inner, and conscious process. The start of 2012 is a wonderful opportunity to change our experience of failed “resolutions” to one of true and lasting change and transformation. We can choose to release the victim within and see what being in true control of our life is really, really like.

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

• Who or what is my guiding authority? How is this authority working for me?
• What are my core values and how do they direct my choices and decisions at work, at home, at play and in relationship?
• How do I choose and implement my personal standards?
• Am I self-reliant? How so?
• Do I ever explore the dynamics of my inner world?
• What bright light shines in my inner world?
• What does not shine in my inner world? Do I know why?
• What feelings and thoughts inhabit my inner world? Are they supportive or limiting?
• Who’s in my personal world? Are they supportive or toxic? Do I want them there? How have I attracted them into my life?
• Did I (or others in my family) experience being a victim when I was growing up? How so? What was that like?
• How can I create a more nurturing, loving and compassionate inner world for my body, mind and emotions?

SpiritHeart – Coaching for Essential Well-BE-ing
— at the intersection of body, mind, emotion and spirit
Values-Based Coaching, Counseling and Training
Phone: 770.804.9125 (Atlanta, GA, USA)
E-mail: pvajda [AT] spiritheart [DOT] net
www.spiritheart.net and www.ahchiyo.com
“What makes you think work and meditation are two different things?”
— Buddha at Work

Back to Charles:
….. We’re not beginners here. We know that our thoughts create our reality. Our thinking forms our path beneath our feet even as we’re stepping forward into it. Yes, we know it, but…

So the question is, why don’t we see more change in our lives, more satisfaction, more positive achievement?

And in that very question lies the answer we’re seeking so desperately. To be satisfied, we find ourselves needing more, more, more.

However, what if we decided to put some of that dissatisfaction on hold for a bit, and – just for a little while – dip a tentative toe into the pool of satisfaction instead?

Rather than keeping that so-elusive satisfaction far, far away, out there in the future somewhere, couldn’t we – just for a little while – find something we have right now to be satisfied with? Even one little thing?

After all, if we’re what we think, what are we thinking? What are we thinking?

New Year’s Realizations

So my big suggestion is really quite small and easily accomplished. Instead of our usual frantic, frenetic round of doing, of running in this and that direction, what if we just think a few of our thoughts differently – just for a little while – and watch what happens?

Now, the conjoined twin of cynicism is impatience. They always walk in together, a matching pair, and where you see one, you’ll find the other as well. Of course it has to be that way. Isn’t it obvious that cynicism and low expectations cannot bear being in the presence of patience? And vice versa?

The other day I mentioned to a friend that this year I’d be doing New Year’s Realizations rather than the traditional resolutions. She asked, do you mean realizations as in “new awarenesses” or realizations as in “things that become real”?

My answer: why make a choice? If we’re doing the new awarenesses properly, then the new things becoming real will follow quite naturally and easily.

That’s why, in 2012, I’ll be spending more time on my thoughts and mental processes, and I’ll be spending less time thinking about all the stuff I want more, more, more of.

Instead, I’ll be directing my thinking toward all the things I’m glad about, all the things I’m thankful are already in my life, all the ways I already have so much joy and happiness and fulfillment and health and friends and family and satisfaction in my life.

I hope you’ll join me – just for a little while – in these New Year’s Realizations.

Cheers from the end of 2011,
Charles

P.S. Leave a comment below and tell me what you think. Even better, tell me what you’re going to do?

At one point he told me a wonderful story about his first venture into the job market. He was fresh out of college, after majoring in finance, and he interviewed with a major consulting firm. The salary they offered was excellent, the benefits were awesome, and the interviewer all but said, “Can you start right this minute?”

But something niggled at the back of my friend’s mind. He asked his interviewer, “Do you have a swimming pool?”

“Yes,” … proudly.

“Do you ever swim in it?”

“Oh – well, no. I don’t have a lot of time for that. But my kids love it.”

“So you spend your weekends with your kids?”

“Oh – well, no. I work some pretty long hours.”

And that little exchange set the course of my friend’s entire working life. He thanked the interviewer for the offer and the opportunity, but said he didn’t think he could bring himself to live with that much separation from the people and things that were important to him.

That one decision probably saved him from a life swamped with frustration, job dissatisfaction and burnout.

Then this morning, synchronistically, I received the following article from frequent guest author Peter Vajda, who discusses much the same subject from the other side of the experience. Here, Peter asks us the question…

Compared to Who(m)?
By Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C.

While many folks are “making a living,” at the same time they sense a lack of significance, meaning, in their work. But, rather than exploring the nature of their dissatisfaction by reflecting, going “inside” and discovering the “root causes” of their frustration, they choose to find fault with externals: education and training programs, health and pension programs (albeit, today often quite justifiable), management, or workplace conditions.

These folks are driving themselves to their own spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical poorhouse in new automobiles, eating at swank restaurants, watching plasma TVs and the like, all the while suffering from increased stress, overwork, overwhelm and an environment polluted by industry. They allow themselves to be devoured by the corporation and spend relentless amounts of energy and time (a lifetime, for many) scratching and clawing their way up the corporate ladder to achieve corporate success; to be(come) “somebody.”

On the way, they set aside their dreams (once, actually, real dreams) and tailor their lives and personalities to what the “market” demands. They practice the arts of “power dressing”, power lunching, having or creating “winning personalities,” all the while mired in the quicksand of emptiness, leading to unhappiness, dissatisfaction and some flavor of dis-ease. In order to be “somebody,” they burn out without ever having been on fire.

What is it about work that leads so many to be so dissatisfied, so unhappy?

A while back, a special issue of Time Magazine had an article about what is known as “reference anxiety” “keeping up with the Joneses” constantly comparing one’s self and one’s “stuff” with someone else’s. Much of this contrast/comparison dance takes place in work environments and is characteristic of many of today’s workplace cultures.

This “reference anxiety” syndrome even accounts for the widening gap in income distribution. The Time article states:

“Paradoxically, it is the very increase in money . . . that triggers dissatisfaction [. . .] clinical depression is 3 to 10 times as common today than two generations ago . . . money jangles in our wallets and purses, but we are no happier for it, and for many, more money leads to depression. [. . .] millions of us spend more time and energy pursuing the things money can buy than engaging in activities that create real fulfillment in life . . .”

Perhaps the dissatisfaction element lies on a much deeper level of the psyche – it’s about the inner person, not about the externals.

In other words, it’s not the work that’s at cause when it comes to worker dissatisfaction.

It’s curious that of the thousands of business books that are published each year, there’s hardly one chapter devoted to friendship in the workplace (real and true friendship, not the “good-old-boys-back-slapping stuff”, that is a faux substitute).

Relationships rule the world, even the world of work. Finding meaning rules one’s deeper sense of happiness, fulfillment, and well-being, even in the world of work. It’s relationships first with yourself, then with others, that must be examined to explore the true and real root causes of employee dissatisfaction.

The spirit of an organization begins and ends with the spirit of each individual. When we come to life with the right values, we are grounded on a foundation of truth, honesty, sincerity, integrity and self-responsibility, and from this place, dissatisfaction can more easily morph into satisfaction.

So, really, really, why is worker satisfaction continually falling? Perhaps it starts with “me,” not with “it,” “him,” “her” or “them.”

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

• Could I be contributing to my own dissatisfaction at work? If so, how? Honestly.
• Do I have an expectation that my company or manager is responsible for my happiness at work?
• What is it about work that excites me? If nothing or, “not much,” then why do I choose to remain there? How might I proactively turn this around?
• What personal and professional goals have I set for myself at work this or next year? If I don’t have any, could that contribute to my unhappiness?
• What lessons did I learn about myself at work last year? I did learn some lessons, didn’t I? How can I leverage these lessons to increase my satisfaction at work this year?
• What mutually-supportive relationships do I want to develop at work?
• What self-defeating habits do I want to eliminate?
• Are there toxic people in my life at work (or at home) who contribute to my unhappiness at work?
• Who can I serve, support, coach or mentor that will bring me satisfaction or increase my happiness at work?
• How have I grown at work during the past year? I have grown in some positive way, haven’t I? If not, why not?
• What one or two baby steps can I take this week or this month that can increase my satisfaction at work?
• How did my parents relate to work as I was growing up? Has that influenced how I relate to work?

SpiritHeart – Coaching for Essential Well-BE-ing
— at the intersection of body, mind, emotion and spirit
Values-Based Coaching, Counseling and Training
Phone: 770.804.9125 (Atlanta, GA, USA)
E-mail: pvajda [AT] spiritheart [DOT] net
www.spiritheart.net and www.ahchiyo.com
“What makes you think work and meditation are two different things?”
— Buddha at Work

Back to Charles:
….. We all know that by using a few simple techniques such as visualization, NLP, self hypnosis, EFT and others, we can charge ourselves up and achieve pretty much anything we aim at. But what are we aiming at?

And if you find yourself unable to motivate yourself toward the goals you’ve chosen, one possible reason may be that you have self worth issues.

OR…

That may not be it at all. It may be that you’ve chosen goals and bitten on bait similar to that which was offered to my new friend – things that sparkle and impress, but which don’t satisfy your inner self. He was sharper than most, my friend… he recognized the warning signs and didn’t bite the bait. Instead, he took a pass and ended up living a life that was arguably even more financially rewarding, but that also fed his inner needs.

So if you’ve been suffering from chronic discontent over the conditions of your life, it might be that you’re spending all your waking hours on crap that you don’t really like, don’t want, and wish you could live without. If so, what are you prepared to do about it? (Yep, this is a deliberate in-your-face challenge.)

To recap, let me again ask the opening question: What are you aiming at?

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

On the other hand, maybe you’re on fire with your goals, intentions and objectives. If so, how high do they reach?

Is your highest goal to lose five pounds? To save enough to buy a new pair of shoes? To be promoted up to assistant file clerk? Or do you envision yourself running a big and successful company? Standing onstage addressing thousands of wildly cheering people? Making decisions that could affect lives far into mankind’s future? Where have you placed yourself on this scale?

Your goals are arrows pointing toward your life’s purpose. Pull out your list of goals, and look it over. What are those goals telling you about the magnitude of your purpose? Is your purpose still living, or have you gradually strangled all life from it?

Today’s guest author AnneMarie Berukoff suggests that we examine…

Who Can Destroy Your Life’s Purpose? The Solution May Surprise You.
by AnneMarie Berukoff

Outside perspectives can become chains that enslave in the dungeon of mediocrity…
– Greg Fullerton

One of the most popular current best sellers is a book by Geneen Roth called Women, Food and God. It is described as an eye-opening perspective at the connection between food, weight control and life style.

It was relatively simple to make a comparison between Women, Poverty and Self-Beliefs. The theory is, compulsive eating and overweight problems are not about food, but rather filling up or satisfying an unhappy self-image or deficiency. The inner dialogue goes like this: “I accept my state of fatness and blame it on lack of will power to make me fatter and unhappier… so eating more is like a drug to keep me numb and justified why I need to eat more calories I know are fattening.”

Now think how this theory can apply to being poor. Similar words may sound like this: “I accept my state of poverty, not because I’m not able to make money but rather it helps to self-fulfill an unhappy self-image. I’m nobody special and I don’t deserve to be rich. I’ll just find more excuses to justify my job, my debts, stress and lack of success.”

The PROBLEM is not lack of money but your acceptance of it. “It’s about the fact that you have given up without saying so… ”

“Accepting problems and limitations creates a small focus, a narrow life, of hiding and shame ‘like dying without ever living’.”
– Roth

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, circumscribed, and victimized by an ever-changing economy and society? And there is only CORE SOLUTION. You see it every day when you look in the mirror. You just need to look deeper.

First, let’s compare being poor to being overweight. Both are undesirable. Both are by-products of controllable actions. You learn to live with self-misery and make up stories about lack of money. You worry about bills, job security, a dead-end job, or not affording the special extras for your family. You scour sales, discounts, food stamps, drive into junk-food restaurants, abide an unreliable old car, live in an insecure neighborhood, work for a tiresome boss, face congested long commutes, retract from educational opportunities.

“You assume that it’s not possible to live any other way… and you’re using ‘lack of money’ to act that out without ever having to admit it.”

This is described as a flat life.

Whether you try to control overweight or eliminate poverty, there are at least 3 choices:

One, keep doing what you’re doing… easiest.

Two, find a better routine… This is a little harder. But motivation comes from understanding the reasons to be better… better than a plate of fatty French fries or a minimum wage job and high interest bills.

Three, find those powerful feelings that nothing will destroy your life’s purpose. Know your true spirit that nurtures fidelity, gratitude, justice, physical vitality, self-development and potential. This is your true self-concept or value you must also see when you look at yourself.

Note that there is no duty to be wealthy other than the single value of money in your bank account is not for its own glory but for all the generosities it allows for you and those you care about.

What do you really see when you look at your self-worth? Would a strong, positive self image suffer the consequences of a greasy hamburger or graceless lifestyle?

The ONE SOLUTION is up to you and your core values…

If the main problem is lack of self-belief then write out this statement on a card and repeat it as many times a day as you can:

Can you see it is about who you believe you are? It is your self-dialogue that will imprison you. It is your habits that will pre-condition you to stay fixed while missing out on everything in life that is not related to poverty.

It will take new experiences to liberate you.

So it may be easier to see how a plate of food can create a burden to what your body is meant to be. That glossy creamy donut, that cheese saturated burger will manifest itself as extra poundage. That excuse “I can’t do a simple 3-steps home business plan” will prolong a paycheck to paycheck existence.

It takes more practice to see how a new and revolutionary home business concept can help you become financially secure. You already have everything you need. You are Someone Special versus No One in Particular. What you need is right in front of you and you may not realize it unless you take the first steps and watch a valuable webinar.

Shortage of time is not your problem. Let top professionals tell the story for you.

Shortage of money is not your problem. You can start with a free shopping application and save money on everything you buy.

Shortage of Self-Belief should not be the problem. You have ENERGY… with body, heart, brain, nerves, and muscles. You have INSPIRATION, if neccessary, with the previous statement repeated daily. “I want to be the best that I can be. I want to do and have and live in a way that is in harmony with my idea of the greatest goodness of life.”

In fact, let’s accept the theory that the real issue about any fear, suffering or lack of self-image may have NOTHING to do with a bad economy, a bad childhood or bad eating habits. It ALL has to do with you. And, specifically, with your connection to your Highest Self, Source, God, or Whatever-You-Want-To-Call-It.

Greg Fullerton’s speech about Who Set the Rules sums your freedom and core values the best:

I sincerely hope a great life for you.

Annemarie Berukoff is retired teacher and professional networker whose motto is a return to basics with 3 concepts for a fair, democratic home business that every family deserves. http://www.increasehomebusinessprofits.com
Discover a revolutionary home business program to shop, save and earn money by giving away a free valuable shopping service. http://www.shoppingforneweconomymoney.com 1.512.404.1270

Back to Charles:
Living bigger takes some daring, some willingness to take chances – though not very big chances at the beginning. True, not everybody can be a captain of industry like Bill Gates, Richard Branson or Steve Jobs.

But failing to try because “everybody” can’t get there? That’s a pretty lame excuse for a solitary person to use – after all, what’s “everybody” got to do with you or with me? Each one of us is a single individual, not “everybody,” right?

Or we could admit that “it seems like too much work for me,” which translates to “I don’t think I can do it.”

Or “That doesn’t appeal to me,” which also translates to “I don’t think I can do it.”

Or any of a hundred other excuses, all of which also come out to the same translation.

Of course, if you’ve been studying self help material for any time at all, you can recognize the failure thinking in that phrase. Ready to get rid of it and move on to some power-filled thinking that’ll reshape your entire self?

Now’s a very good time to jump in and start. So let’s do it, shall we?

Yesterday I ran across a random bookmark, which, when I followed it, led me to discover a new way of performing that I’d never even heard of before. It’s called “beatboxing,” and it just blew me away.

Here’s a sample of two enormously talented young guys at a recent competiton.

Reeps1 vs. ZeDe

This strange new human talent is still largely underground, though if you’re of a younger persuasion, you may already be familiar with it. But since I’m an old fart, it was new to me. As my very good friend Russ Hamel said, this is a perfect example of not knowing what you don’t know. In any case, the popularity of beatboxing is rapidly growing.

If you liked that, then here are a few more links you may also enjoy.

• Reeps1 vs. ZeDe
• Markooz VS Reeps1
• Shawn Lee VS Vahtang
• Mando vs Vahtang

Now, just in case you’re thinking this is only about making noise, think again. The following two interviews reveal that at least some of the performers are actually pretty thoughtful people.

• Joel Turner the Beatbox Battle World Champion from Australia
• Rahzel the Godfather of Noise

And it’s definitely not just a guy thing. The ladies are well represented, too.

• Lyn, from Japan, was at the BeatBox Battle.
• Sophia is quite young, but she makes it all look incredibly easy. Here, she’s recording herself in a classroom at school.

At the Beatbox Battle International Competition, four young ladies appeared and were standouts for their excellent teamwork.

• Female All Stars 1
• Female All Stars 2
• Female All Stars 3
• Female All Stars 4

By now you’re probably wondering, “Hey, didn’t BullsEye Living used to be a motivation and inspiration blog?” In fact, you may be ready to ask…

“Okay Charles, Where Are You Going with This?”

As engaging as all of that boomboxing is, it’s just light entertainment… uh… isn’t it? Well, yes and no. As I was “wasting” an entire Sunday watching these (and many more) video segments, I realized something important. Something that involves my capacity (and yours) to achieve far more than we’ve done before.

Here are a bunch of young people who can do something – extremely well – that nobody ever even conceived of doing until recently. In other words it’s a whole new kind of performing art.

And how did they get so good at all this? They did it the old fashioned way. They worked their tails off, practicing endlessly, as they tried out new ideas, and polished everything to a diamond luster. Please notice that there are no “old masters” or established gurus sitting back and running beatboxing schools. Each one of these people is teaching themselves, partly by paying attention to what others are doing, but mostly by going off alone and experimenting.

In other words, every one of these people is a trailblazer. They’re all taking a few basic sounds, then combining them in their own unique way, trying this and trying that, and keeping what works for them. In other words, they’re pretty much making this stuff up as they go.

Talk About Self Motivated People…

In your entire life have you ever been motivated enough to try that hard at anything? What you’re seeing in these videos (if you’re paying attention) is the stuff that makes any person a high achiever. And if you want to be a standout, you’ll need to get some of that same stuff.

So what’s in this motivation “stuff”?

Yeah yeah sure… you’ve read the books and attended the seminars about motivation. How’s that working for you? Are you getting a lot more done?

Are you now a high achiever? Or are you still farting around reading books, listening to CDs and attending seminars? Still seeking the magic pill that’ll make it all come effortlessly?

Of course, there’s noting wrong with filling your mind with positive material. But it often becomes an end in itself – a substitute for the real task of living your life at full power.

What Is the Real Job?

Often, when a company is on the verge of failure, they’ll bring in a turnaround specialist. This is a guy who comes in, examines everybody and everything, and very quickly gets rid of whatever stands in the way of profit.

The reason they bring in an outsider is because he has fresh eyes. He can see the loafers and lazy people who don’t pull their own weight. He can recognize the departments that are wasting resources. And he can find and get rid of the obstructive little internal fiefdoms that gobble up corporate resources without doing anything for customers.

In other words, a turnaround specialist cuts the company back down to only its essentials.

So imagine this… let’s say a life turnaround specialist came in and examined your life. He (or she) will be able to see things that you can’t. He’ll see all those things you’re doing that don’t lead you anywhere.

All those books and CDs (and blogs) that you’re consuming – are they really part of getting your job done? Or are you just avoiding the real job? We sometimes do that, you know. We do things that are easy (but sound admirable) so that we can avoid working on the real job.

So I ask you again – what is the real job?

And if you tell me it’s personal growth, I’ll ask you to cut out the bullshit.

Listen, personal growth is good, but wisdom never comes from reading about wisdom. Nor from hearing some wonderful teacher explain wisdom. That includes me by the way (because I’m neither a guru nor wise).

Wisdom comes as a byproduct of doing real things. Wisdom is not an understanding of some high-sounding set of universal principles. It’s a deep, visceral connection with and appreciation of your own inner resources and how to use them in the real world.

This is true in every field. If you and I begin reading about chess or billiards, we may come to know all the rules, most of the techniques, and much of the game’s history. But we still won’t be able to play the game very well. The only way to get good at the game is to play it. Play it a lot. Play it every day, every chance we get. And every time we make a mistake, to learn from it.

Here is one of the few really useful rules for living:
EXPERIENCE ALWAYS TRUMPS KNOWLEDGE
And of course, knowledge in partnership with experience trumps experience alone.

So yes, there’s an important place for knowledge, but it won’t get you there all by itself. You need both.

And a Third Time I Ask You – What Is the Real Job of Your life?

Years ago, a friend of mine, John, went to India when he was about 19 and very full of himself. He was convinced that he already had all the answers to life’s most important questions. While meditating at a high mountaintop retreat, he met a humble old holy man one day, and he asked the man, “What is the purpose of life?” John said he expected to impress the priest with his own wisdom.

He said this doddering old man suddenly transformed. He looked intensely into John’s eyes for more than a minute, then he laughed and said very slowly, “The purpose of life is simpler than you yet know. The purpose of life is to live.”

I found that statement profound the first time I heard it, and I still do.

Simple isn’t it? Your purpose isn’t to become wiser… that comes automatically as a side effect, but only if you’re paying close attention.

And the purpose is not to gradually shed your humanity. So somebody thinks that human-ness is a burden to be sloughed off? Baloney! It’s a gift that we’ve been generously given. Why would we despise such a gift? We’ve been entrusted with this humanity, been gifted with our physical, mental and emotional natures to enjoy, to cherish and to become adept at using.

What do I mean by that? Just look to the beatboxers who are practicing and expanding their vocal abilities and you’ll have a good example of how life can be lived with joy and intensity.

But beatboxing isn’t “important” is it?

Pay attention here – this is the most important thing you can ever learn. Importance is not assigned by the Universe, the Angels nor the Space Brothers.

Importance is assigned by you, through conscious choice. Choosing what’s important to you, then living like you mean it.

That’s the real job in your life.

So are you doing the job? Or are you waiting around for some higher being to tell you what to do? If you are, it may be time to call in a turnaround specialist who can help you get back on track.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

EDIT: Added January 2nd

Another amazing example of going beyond what’s considered possible is David Blaine’s record of holding his breath underwater for more than 17 minutes. In this TED Talk, Blaine discusses the months of intense training he put himself through to reach that record.

His achievement didn’t just happen – he didn’t drift into this accidentally. It took planning, training, specialized knowledge and a willingness to go way out there to the edge of current abilities, and then to step off that edge into uncharted territory.

If you’re thinking of stepping outside your own behavioral norm (comfort zone) this year, know this: you’re going to need a little more drive, commitment and faith in yourself than you’re using right now.

Want to work on this with me in 2011?

Certain tasks just seem to siphon away whatever motivation you have and leave you feeling sad, tired, sorry, even annoyed. But did you know that there are also factors inside yourself that can make it difficult to feel excited and enthusiastic? Today we discuss three such factors.

You have a long to-do list waiting, but you find yourself oversleeping, watching TV or wasting time in other unproductive activities. Laziness usually comes from a combination of lack of energy and no self-motivation.

In this video I share a few simple tips to help you overcome laziness…

by Rotem Cohen of energyandmotivation.com

First, in order to stop being lazy you may need to increase your energy level, mainly by improving the quality of your sleep, being physically active and getting proper nutrition.

Second, you’ll probably have to work on your mindset and motivation. In short, you need to be in control – of your stress level, your thoughts and your actions. Having clear direction and purpose in life also helps.

As Earl Nightingale once said “The key that unlocks energy is desire. It’s also the key to a long and interesting life. If we expect to create any drive, any real force within ourselves, we have to get excited”. Get Excited! Visit EnergyAndMotivation.com to find out how to overcome tiredness, laziness and procrastination and become a highly energetic and self motivated person.

Of course, it doesn’t mean we’ll actually carry out those goals and resolutions, but most of the time we do think we will (or at least hope we will).

With that thought in mind, how would you like to prepare your mind in advance to succeed with your next batch of goals (resolutions)?

Implement these 7 suggestions and you’ll find yourself persisting with your projects, achieving them rather than giving up.

1. Stop asking others for their approval

Your dream is yours, and you don’t need anybody else’s okay to go after it. Permission only needs to come from you. Of course you’d like to have the encouragement of those around you, but don’t make that a condition of beginning.

It’s your dream, your vision of a future reality, and talking about it with anybody who’ll listen is the surest way possible to drain all your creative energy out of the idea. It’ll waste your time and energy. And worse, your idea will simply die from inattention. All the time you spend chasing others’ approval of your project takes time away from the project itself.

2. Don’t get it perfect, just get it out there

If you’re the kind of person who won’t turn loose of your “baby” and instead endlessly adjust and fine-tune and tweak it, trying to get it perfect – if that’s you – then stop it. Stop it now.

If you wait till you can do something perfectly, you will die never having done anything at all.

Just dive in and make a start. Drive forward and make it good, but not perfect. Then turn it loose to the world. Frankly, the world neither needs nor wants perfect. It just wants something that’ll do the job for them right now.

Achieving goals and resolutions is a bit like riding a bicycle. If you wait till your balance is perfect before you start peddling, you’ll never get anywhere. It’s far easier to adjust your balance, your direction and your speed once you’re in motion.

3. You’ll have to MAKE the time

If you’re waiting till you can find the time to get started, I have some bad news for you. That extra time will never be available. You’ll have to make the time, or your precious project won’t get done. Ever

Talking about how you don’t have the time right now – well, that’s a bit of a foolish thing to say. It’s an excuse. You always, always do the things that are most important to you. And if your “goal” isn’t important enough for you to make the time, then no matter what excuse you cover it with, the truth is that you don’t want to do your goal very much.

But if you’ll push aside the things that are “getting in the way” and just boldly, stubbornly insist on doing what you’ve promised yourself you’ll do, then you’ll achieve your goals.

4. But it takes a REAL decision

If you think you’ve made decisions in the past but didn’t follow through with them, you’re kidding yourself. REAL decisions produce results. Period. If a decision doesn’t lead to achievement, then it wasn’t a decision.

And if you want a good indicator of the strength of your decisions and your determination, make a list of all the projects you’ve started in the past couple of years. Now check off all the ones you completed.

All the rest, no matter what your “reason” may be, are a measure of just how gullible you are for your own excuses. If you’re not finishing most of the things you start, we know two things.

First, you aren’t very careful about the goals you choose, picking up things that you don’t care very much about. In other words, you’re taking wishes and calling them goals.

And second, you don’t keep your promises.

5. You’re the one in charge – so be bold

Have some moxie! Some balls! You’re the one responsible for your dreams. Nobody else will bring them into reality, and if you don’t do it, it isn’t going to happen. Be proactive and even a little aggressive in going after what you want.

And for goodness sake, quit sharing your ideas with anybody who isn’t an active member of your project. Are you waiting around for somebody to give you permission? Or offer suggestions and guidance? Don’t.

Don’t sit. Don’t wait. Don’t fiddle around. It’s your life – quit wasting it.

6. What is your dream worth to you?

Ideas are – as they say – a dime a dozen, and nobody is going to be bowled over by yet another “brilliant” idea. What people will be impressed by is action. Leadership and initiative. Taking charge and getting things done.

Sure, you hear great stories of some angel investor who puts up funds and helps a project become a huge success. But don’t sit around on your thumb waiting for an angel to appear. Investors are just like the rest of the world. They don’t need more ideas. But they do need doers – people who will pick up the ball and run with it on their own.

Now, in order to achieve your goal, you may need to educate yourself, gain know-how and expertise, before you can get things moving. Well, more know-how never hurt anybody. And I’m not talking about endless studying, or analysis paralysis. This is about getting the expertise you need to keep the project moving unremittingly forward.

7. You can’t do everything first

Guard yourself against getting drawn off into tangents. Stay focused on the central task, so that you can avoid side projects and activities which don’t lead directly to your goal. Try to do too many unrelated things, and you’ll just confuse and frustrate yourself. It’s easy to recognize when this is happening. You begin feeling overwhelmed and your energy starts to ebb.

The easiest way to keep yourself on target is to write down your goal, and then write a detailed list of the tasks that lead directly to it.

Trying to do everything won’t work. But when you focus down on one thing at a time, it’s easy to keep on track.

Do these seven things and your goals and resolutions for 2011 are far more likely to become reality.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

Watch the Full Interview at www.thesuccesskey.webs.com Jim Rohn, the legendary teacher, trainer and mentor to millions worldwide shares some very simple yet profound steps we can take when motivating ourselves