I stumbled across the story by accident. You’ve probably heard of Google Alerts. That’s a free service that Google offers in which you enter a keyword, a phrase or a name and Google will email you an alert if your word appears anywhere on the Internet. The keyword I have them watch is my name, ‘Charles Burke.’

Usually the Alerts point to obituaries, or some obscure rocket scientist or musician. But today was different. A story in the Albany Herald featured an exciting young high school basketball player, Alexis Burke, whose playing is continually inspired by her late father, Charles. The story was unusually inspiring.

Her coaches consider Alexis a very special player. Listen to AAU coach Kimberly Davis-Powell:

“She was so dedicated,” Davis-Powell said. “Whatever I said to do, she would do it. She would work so hard, and there were times in the beginning where she would be so frustrated she would cry, just sit down and cry after practice. But she was determined. Whatever it took, she attacked it dead-on.

“And she is so smart she knew how to run her own workout plan. She would be in the gym, four, five days a week doing nothing but shooting drills. She would wear a strap on her left arm to keep it down, and shoot with her right arm, shoot and shoot and shoot for two hours. Now she has such a pure shot.”

If you want to know how motivation behaves, read that quote again.

And coachability? Read it two or three more times.

Or maybe you’ve wondered about having a strong reason why. Go read the entire article and you’ll begin to understand what’s involved – what a winner’s inner game looks like.

All of it – the motivation, the coachability, the strong reason why – together they form a vision, an ambition so high and unreasonable that you either shrink away in fear and surrender, or you rise and spread your arms and stretch your legs and stride on up to see what lies beyond the hill that hides your view. No effort seems too great when you’re connected that firmly to your inspiring ideal.

And if, after you read that article, you feel that you just don’t have that kind of vital, living connection to your dream, then it’s time you started building one. Connections can be built. They can be strengthened and expanded. They can be used to change your life into one of enormous achievement and satisfaction.

Go read that article now, and you’ll know in your gut what a coachable player (or client) looks like. Then it’s just a matter of remaking yourself into that person.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

P.S. – Your connections are among the things we’ll be working on in the BullsEye Club. So be thinking about yours.

Maybe you still want to set some goals. Fine… that’s easy. Setting goals is the simplest thing in the world. People do it all the time – especially around January first. Except they usually call them resolutions… (but they might as well call them “glop” for all the good most of ‘em do).

On the other hand, let’s say you want to set some goals that’ll actually get done. Well then, that’s different. You’ve set goals before (and resolutions, and targets, and objectives), but most of ‘em never fired you up, never had staying power, never kept you excited for long enough. So they mostly never got done… am I right?

So how’s the BullsEye Club going to make it different this time?

Well, let’s say you had a way to identify goals that you’ll actually WANT to do… Goals that’ll lodge deep inside your gut, won’t let you go, and will drive you crazy and drive you forward through unquenchable excitement until they actually, honest-to-god get done… that kind of goals.

I hope you’ve noticed that I keep using the word “actually.” This word always suggests that something is more reachable, more believable, more achievable – as opposed to the lame-ass stuff we usually attempt.

So in the BullsEye Club, I’ll be taking you through just six questions to enable you to set and reach goals that matter to you. Yeah, only six.

Of course, we could ask many more questions than these six, and no doubt some of those other questions are fascinating. Even useful. But these few are just enough to narrow your focus while not weighing you down with too much detail nor diffusing your concentration. They’ll help you plan your moves and then carry them forward into action.

What are these questions, and why these in particular? Here are your…

6 Empowering Questions You’ll Ask and Answer:

……… 1. What do you want?
……… 2. Why?
……… 3. How will you get it (your plan)?
……… 4. When that hits snags, what are your plans B and C?
……… 5. Who is your model?
……… 6. Who will be your allies?

Question 1: “What do you want?”

This doesn’t mean the stuff you find yourself wishing for in your idle moments or in your nasty fantasies. Nor all the minor little stuff it’d be nice to have if you could pick them up along the way, but you wouldn’t go five paces out of your way for. It’s the stuff that rates a 10 on your scale of “having this’d make me happier than a frog at a bug convention.”

At this point, I was going to mention a couple of jaw-droppingly amazing ways to pick goals, but a couple of weeks ago Naomi Dunford at IttyBiz blog wrote How to Make Unstupid Goals. It’s a great preview of the kind of things we’ll be doing, so go read it now. I’ll wait till you’re finished.

Back already? Or did you skip over it? I’m serious – go see what this incredibly savvy, funny and potty-mouthed lady has to say, because you need these insights even worse than you need a good lay. It’s that important.

Question 2: What Is Your Why?

Most folks don’t have a powerful, driving reason that’ll motivate them through every kind of obstacle till they get what they want. So how about you? If you already have a reason like this, you belong to a very small minority (and you won’t be reading this). Most people have so thoroughly disconnected themselves from their highest feelings that powerful emotional drivers are a dim, distant memory.

It’s vital that you learn how to reconnect to yours, so that’s among the first things we’ll do. We’ll cover ways to do this that are NOT knowledge based. Very little theory or head knowledge here. And they’re effective as all get-out.

Question 3: What’s Your Plan?

Once you’ve picked a goal that you truly care about achieving, and have a burning, glowing reason that won’t LET you be lazy or procrastinate, you’re going to need a plan.

And believe me when I say that all plans are not created equal. In fact, most plans are not even created – at least, not very completely. So as you start putting together a plan to get you from here to where you want to go, you’ll have help identifying the gaps, the holes and the hazards lying in wait for you. You can find many of these simply by thinking things through in some detail. Others are purely a matter of experience.

In any case, you can prevent a lot of problems with careful advance planning. And no, I’m not talking about some humongous 250-page document with charts, spreadsheets and projections, although if you get excited by that kind of thing, I won’t stand in your way.

Question 4: Your Backup Options

You’re cruising along, getting things done, then >blam< something happens, the hit shits the fan, and your Plan A comes to a screeching derailment. Whatcha gonna do? Do you have a Plan B? A Plan C? If not, you’re up the creek with a dirty fan. Nothing moves until you know what to do.

Well, cheer up. You may be thinking that Plan Bs and Plan Cs involve incredibly detailed scenario mapping, like the billion dollar bank robberies you see in the movies. First off, if you believe all the stuff you see in movies, you really need to get out more.

And second, coming up with alternate plans is usually as simple as asking yourself: “Now, if this approach doesn’t work, what else might I try?” And you go through your entire Plan A, one point at a time, asking this very simple question. This is much more effective in a group setting, where several brain storming partners are helping you generate options.

Although this step may seem simple, there’s tremendous power in it. Do this properly, and you’ll almost never again be caught flat-footed or unprepared. Once you’re in motion, this step is often THE difference between succeeding and failing.

Question 5: Who Is Your Model?

In putting together your own plan, you’ll need something to emulate – some kind of model to follow. This may be a personal role model, or it may be an organizational business model. Either way, you’re selecting a template to follow. It will guide your actions, giving you a way to quickly judge whether or not new ideas and options are congruent with what you’re aiming for.

If you have someone special, a high achiever or a canny business person for whom you have great respect, they may serve as your personal role model.

At the same time, most business strategies depend on having a clearly defined business model to serve the same templating purpose.

For example, if you’re starting up an Internet business on a tight budget and want to build it up by specializing in massive free article marketing, then you automatically know that you’ll spend many hours a day on articles. If someone suggests that you also commit big chunks of time to local personal appearances, that simply doesn’t fit what you’re doing. You can spend most of your time either on articles or personal appearances, but not both… not even if you’re schizophrenic.

The use of a business model is useful for eliminating confusion, weeding out strategies that don’t match your business model, and saving you bundles of money and time on education that would lead you off in conflicting directions.

Once you have a clear-cut plan, you lose the frantic sense of running off in all directions at once. You stop feeling like a hound dog that’s been dropped in the middle of a field of rabbits. You’re settled, stable and calm.

And finally, we come to…

Question 6: Who Will Your Allies Be?

It is absolutely impossible to run a successful business without people to back you up. Even a one-man lemonade stand relies on the lemon growers, the truck drivers, the wholesalers and retailers, the glass blower who makes your glasses (or the paper mill if it’s paper cups you’re using), the water company, and a nearly limitless list of people who make it possible for you to run your little one-man stand.

But that’s all kind of general and distant.

What I’m talking about is much more personal, much closer to home. When a problem crops up, who will you turn to for advice? When you need to do some brain storming, you COULD go it alone, but it’s much more effective with two or more heads working on it together.

When you need to take some time off – whether for fun or for health – do you have someone who’ll take it over for a bit until you get back? Or do you just shut it down, choke off the cash flow, and come back to what’ll essentially be a brand new start-up in month or two?

For best results, it’s good to have a community to turn to for ideas, suggestions, alternatives, and even criticism at times. And, as with all things business, the best time to line up your community is ahead of time – before you’re up to your ass in alligators.

Now, you may be accustomed to other kinds of business analysis, and maybe you’re thinking I forgot the “who’s your customer, what’s your niche” question. Nope. That’s a subset of Questions 1 and 5 – you’ll see what I mean when we actually get into it.

These six questions are plenty. They’ll give you the focus and planning you’ll need to get into action. And action is the ultimate goal behind all this goal setting stuff… getting you moving… preferably forward.

But Burke, I Could Do All This Myself

You sure could. Let’s face it – you could actually take everything I’m writing here and do it all yourself. But the question is – would you? You may have the knack of asking probing questions, then bearing down on the task and staying with it till you’ve dug up some new realizations, new insights into yourself, and new connections to your inner resourcefulness.

And you may have the persistence to hold yourself accountable when you decide to do a thing. You may even have the time to work on your goals while also cultivating a mutual support community.

Many people don’t have these abilities yet, however, so that’s why I’m forming the BullsEye Club. To help balance the odds that are often stacked against the little guy – the beginner – the person who wasn’t born with a silver spoon, or doesn’t have the advantage of years of experience.

In the next part, we’ll discuss the seven skills you’ll develop. Fortunately, they’re not all that hard to acquire, and I’ll be handing you several clever little shortcuts to further tilt the advantage your way. Watch for that on Wednesday.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

But that’s change for them. When it moves over here, when it gets up close and personal, requiring something from US, then we may start backing off, waffling, whining, asking for a special dispensation. Our philosophy can take a whole different slant when it’s aimed at ourselves.

In fact, most folks seem to believe, as the title says, that “Change is good – but Not In My Back Yard.” There is, however, a solid psychological reason for this attitude. Today, guest columnist Peter Vajda shares with us…

Why Change Triggers a Fear of Dying
By Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C.

“Just as the tumultuous chaos of a thunderstorm brings a nurturing rain that allows life to flourish, so too in human affairs times of advancement are preceded by times of disorder. Success comes to those who can weather the storm.”
– I Ching No. 3

Probably the greatest obstacle to a life worth living is the fear of death – not death itself – but the fear of death. Think about the last time you chose to, or were asked to, embrace true and real change – at work, at home, at play or in relationship. What was that like for you?

Attachment

There are times during our life when we have the opportunity to meet someone who truly has no fear of dying. Exploring this other’s perspective, it’s often the case they came face-to-face with their own mortality through a deep and intense “life-changing” experience, e.g., illness, divorce, job loss, financial ruin, loss of a loved one, etc. In the process they most probably hit a spiritual “rock bottom.”

In this place, one usually lets go of their “human” identity – who they took their Self to be, their “ego identity,” their mental self-images, their “human-ness” to a degree. In this heightened conscious state, dying is not seen as a typical “temporal” end with all its attendant fears:
….. “Gosh, I’d hate to give up all my money.”
….. “Gee my wife will still be here, and I won’t be able to be with her after I divorce/leave/die.”
….. “My job/position/title was all I had and without it I’m nothing.”
….. “I’ll miss so much that I had here.”
….. “I’ll wither away if I can’t run/work/paint/cook…any more.”
….. “I can’t go on without her/him.”

These fears are based on an ego attachment to life as we know it – attachments which “define me” according to my ego mind, and for which the thought of loss sends fear throughout our being.

Defensiveness

When our human side, our ego self, is confronted with this type of “death,” our knee-jerk reaction is to become defensive – we try to protect ourselves from change, we deny the change or even the thought of change; simply, we (our ego) doesn’t want to die. It’s like when we were a child and there was upset in our home and we covered our ears with our hands and yelled in order to silence the noise.

Change can be upsetting

Consider the myriad instances of change in your life. Perhaps you’re experiencing an illness, or the result of an accident, the threat or reality of a job loss, an impending divorce or separation, the loss of a loved one, a financial demise, a geographical relocation, etc. In all of these, what’s underneath is some type of realization of “not knowing,” and the not knowing often requires a letting go.

The emotion connected to letting go arises as fear and if explored deeply, the fear is not unlike a fear of death, i.e, “I don’t know what will happen”; I don’t know who I’ll become”; “I don’t know.” And, not knowing often evokes fear and anxiety. The “future” is where death happens.

The past as antidote

When change happens, the only safe haven for many is the past – an experience we do know; an experience which we survived. So, the greater the change, the greater the fear, and the more driven we are to seek refuge, safety and security in the past, our past.

Hanging on to our past, we re-orient to our conditioning, our programming, and our habits and patterns of thinking, be-ing and do-ing. Unfortunately, the greater our fear of death and dying, the more we dig in our heels and hang on to “the familiar – “the old me.”

The paradox

Our orientation to our past is the major obstacle that snuffs out the life, the vitality and potentiality of our being. We are actually denying life because we fear death. Right here and right now, we are potential, we are possibility, we are becoming. However, when we fear change and pull our self back into our past, we negate our present and our future – we choose death over life. In nature (the seasons, for example), a lack of life is – death. However, death is a requirement for new life to emerge.

The solution

Perspective. When we change our perspective, we can choose to become laser-like focused in the here and now, with an orientation towards our future.

We can choose to trust that what is coming is greater, richer and more fulfilling than what was. We can choose to trust in the limitless possibilities for well-be-ing, happiness and self-fulfillment.

The fact is there is a part of every living soul that does not die. When we contact this part of our self, we can access our Essential qualities and experience our True Self – a Self that is courageous, powerful, strong, steadfast, and capable. When we allow our True Self to emerge, we engage life with a dynamism, a vitality and a love that erases our fear. Love and fear are diametrically opposed to one another. They cannot exist together.

Accepting change

If we choose, we can accept change in its various shapes and forms. We can choose to become courageous, stalwart and positively view all life as opportunity. But to do so, we need to be in touch with life, not fear. In this place, nothing can stop us or harm us. In this place, endings are beginnings, upset is a blessing, and death is birth.

Our ego says that the world is a dangerous place, that life is threatening and hurtful. This is a life perspective based on fear – fear of death. Another perspective is that of welcoming the unknown, welcoming death. From this perspective, life presents a huge opportunity, life is supportive and the world is a safe place. This is the place where true aliveness, change and transformation happens.

“The call of death is a call of love. Death can be sweet if we answer it in the affirmative, if we accept it as one of the great eternal forms of life and transformation.”
– Hermann Hesse

So, some questions for self-reflection are:

• What significant transitions have you experienced in your life? What was the “death” involved? How were you transformed as a result? What did you see about yourself in the experience(s)?
• As you contemplate your future, can you envision positive outcomes for specific hopes and desires?
• What current life changes are you experiencing? Are you fearful? How so? Are you in denial or hanging on to old patterns and habits of resistance to change? If so, why? What does resistance get you?
• What changes in your life are you most proud of? Why?
• Do you spend much time longing for the “good old days?”
• What was change like for you/your family when you were growing up?

SpiritHeart – Coaching for Essential Well-BE-ing
— at the intersection of body, mind, emotion and spirit
Values-Based Coaching, Counseling and Training
Phone: 770.804.9125 (Atlanta, GA, USA)
E-mail: pvajda [AT] spiritheart [DOT] net
www.spiritheart.net and www.ahchiyo.com
“What makes you think work and meditation are two different things?”
— Buddha at Work

Back to Charles:
The truth is, we don’t usually respond to change… nor to most other things. Instead we REACT to change. Responding is, by definition, a conscious choosing from among a number of alternatives. Most of us don’t have any alternatives to choose from. What we do have is our one knee-jerk reaction, which involves rejecting, avoiding, disliking, complaining, feeling put-upon and threatened, and running away.

Does this sound at all familiar? Doesn’t it sound a lot like the old fight-or-flight syndrome? With a heavy emphasis on flight? Fight or flight… you know, that’s the condition where, when a threat intrudes, we are thrown immediately into an amygdala hijack.

What’s an amygdala hijack? You can Google it for more background, but briefly, that’s when the old, primative, lizard part of our brain suddenly seizes control of our behavior, shuts down our logical thinking processes, and leaps into instant action in an attempt to “get us out of this mess – now!”

If you’d like to have more choice in how you react to change and other “threats,” I suggest you read up on the topics of emotional quotient, amygdala hijacks, and the training you can give yourself. Please know this – it IS possible to reduce the number of situations in which your “old brain” feels threatened. And this in turn gives you more and more situations where you’re not thrown into automatic behavior. Instead, you’re free to continue thinking, come up with alternatives and choose from among them.

But it takes advance preparation. Training.

There’s an old military truism: when the shit hits the fan, you won’t rise to the occasion. You’ll default to your level of training. Your training.

So if you want a better life… in any area… go get some training. Some REAL training, not just reading some books. Action trumps theory every time.

So in the coming months, when change, crisis and collapse seem to loom everywhere, what are we going to do for ourselves to make sure we can handle change gracefully, sensibly and usefully? You know…

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

In the final three weeks of 2009, you probably saw about 10,177 ways to really, really make it happen in 2010… unlike all those other times.

Frankly, I’ve stayed away from that topic because it’s pretty much the exact thing I’ve been writing about all year anyway.

But when I saw the following pair of articles on how inner resolve ties in to inner peace, I couldn’t resist. This is a fresh and well thought out look at some of the reasons we may seek change. It’s about the how and why of the matter. Here, guest author Peter Vajda suggests that we…

Resolve to Achieve Inner Peace in 2010
By Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C.

For most folks, inner peace is more a concept than a reality. In fact, most of us experience our days at work, at home and often at play in some state of inner conflict, agitation, upset, stress and/or overwhelm.

Consider:

• One in four Americans feels somewhat “angry all the time” while they’re at work
• 35 percent of women have negative thoughts about their body up to five times a day
• 42 percent of workers say their job is very or extremely stressful
• 35-40 percent of Americans live paycheck to paycheck
• 54 percent of Americans are concerned about the level of stress in their everyday lives
• Nearly 19 million American adults suffer from depression during any one-year period
• One-quarter of Americans say they have no one with whom to discuss personal troubles

What Is Inner Peace?

Sadly, many of us are so separated from inner peace that the simple idea of inner peace sounds distant, unattainable, and impossible ­ something others can perhaps experience, “but, not me.”

The fact is, inner peace is available to everyone. Inner peace already exists in each of us, in our core; but many folks never choose to take the time to enter inside to access their core and experience the calm of inner peace.

When you have achieved inner peace, you feel relaxed, at ease, focused, clear and “quiet” even in the midst of high-pressure and stressful situations ­ the inconsiderate and rude customer service representative; the driver who cuts you off or who tailgates you; the spouse who annoys you with his/her idiosyncrasies; the outburst your boss hurled at you; the hard-drive crash, etc.

Inner peace is not about not being reactive, not getting angry, not acting out. Inner peace is about freeing yourself from the clutches of stress, from the draw of external stimuli, and living life from a place of freedom, self-control, personal power, relaxation, emotional maturity and stability, and joy – all while accessing your intuitive powers and higher consciousness so you can live life from a deeper, richer, more meaningful place – a place from which everyday stressors have no power and control over you.

Here are four resolutions you might consider if you choose to experience a greater degree of inner peace in 2010:

Be open to the idea that your Natural state of being is “at peace.”

We were born in and from a place of inner peace. It’s just that life got in the way. Our natural state of inner peace is always within us; it’s always been here, always accessible. If you allow yourself to be open to this possibility, and then take the time to consciously let go and relax into your center, your core, you will find and experience this state of who you really are.

Recognize that you can feel inner peace in every moment.

The state of inner peace does not depend on location, people, events, or circumstances. Inner peace is not a function of how stressful an event may be. It just is. Inner peace is always available, even under the most stressful or upsetting situations, regardless of where we are, what we’re doing, what time it is, or who we’re with.

Let go of the self-limiting beliefs, the negative self-images and self-sabotaging assumptions that get in the way of your experiencing a quiet mind, a peaceful heart and a relaxed body.

If you think you can or if you think you can’t – you’re right on both counts. If you feel you are lacking, deficient, or you cannot improve, cannot be happy, cannot be financially successful, cannot be in a satisfying and healthy relationship, cannot have meaningful work, etc….if this is what you think, then this is what your experience will be. Release your self-limiting thoughts and you’ll move into a place of inner peace unencumbered by the negativity that keeps you agitated, paralyzed, or unhappy.

Release your stress and anxiety.

Do the mental, emotional and physical work to release your stress and anxiety. Each time you let go of your stress and anxiety you will experience more of the mental, emotional and physical peace that is natural for you.

Letting go is a natural ability that we all have, but as we grow older forget how to use it, of if we do know, we seldom take the time and make the effort to let go. We allow ourselves to be distracted, to operate on automatic pilot and live life at 90 miles an hour ­ taking us away from experiencing quietude and inner peace.

Resolving to experience inner peace on a consistent basis in 2010 will support you to master your life, achieve your goals, connect to your higher self and live peacefully in the present, in the moment, each and every day as you journey through the New Year…at work, at home and at play. Will you choose to make this resolution?

I sincerely wish you a prosperous, healthy, meaningful and purposeful 2010.
…..
…..
Back to Charles:
So that’s resolve – the ability to make a decision and follow through until it has been achieved. With strong, healthy resolve we can shape a satisfying and wonderful life in this coming year.

But as we may recognize from past experience, there’s a chance that this satisfying and wonderful year might not come into reality quite the way we envisioned it. Why? What might stop us?

In part 2, Peter helps us take a closer look at “that other side of ourselves” and shares with us…
…..

One Way We Might Subvert Resolve in 2010
By Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C.

New Year’s resolutions are on the tip of most everyone’s pen and tongue. Thousands of suggestions, “how tos,” and “best ways” are being offered to help folks make, and carry through on, their New Year’s resolutions. Sadly, as in past years, 98% of those who make resolutions will have given up or failed by Valentine’s Day.

Three major causes of failure are:
(1) most of our resolutions are “mental” ­ that is, often they are simply thoughts that are wrapped in a burst of enthusiasm that is ephemeral and short-lived, (2) our intentionality does not come from “inside” ­ from our Core Self, our heart and soul and (3) we are caught in a “victim mentality” where scapegoating runs our lives. As victims, we are so obsessed with blaming that we lack the strength to gain clarity about why we resist change or fail to follow through on our intentions.

When we understand the nature of the “victim consciousness,” we gain insight into how true and real change occurs.

The victim is rife with self-limiting and self-sabotaging habits and patterns of living, working and relating. It is these self-limiting patterns that prevent us from do-ing and be-ing from a place of integrity, responsibility, maturity, accountability, dedication, and commitment. It is our subconscious drives that cause us pain and suffering.

When we look deeply inside, honestly and self-responsibly, we uncover our shadow self – a self, feeling victimized, that lives a life of greed, ruthlessness, egocentricity, blind ambition irresponsibility, inaction, and/or self-sabotage. Choosing to reflect and become conscious of these habits, patterns and programming in an effort to release them supports us to evolve to a place where clarity and a truthful picture of our inner and outer realities will serve us well.

When we look deeply inside and reflect, we become more able to transmute the energies of our self-limiting habits and patterns into the energy of authenticity, integrity and trustworthiness – supported by our inner qualities of courage, commitment and steadfastness.

Four characteristics of a victim mentality are:

• lack of clarity about our goals: ping-ponging between and among realistic and unrealistic or illusory expectations and goals, and blaming others for our lack of clarity;
• inability to deal with time and resource limits and constraints and blaming other people and events for our inability to use time and other resources effectively and intelligently;
• confusion around the law of cause and effect – lack of awareness about how we are creating/causing the current events in our life and a lack of clarity about how we can change our thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, intentions, behaviors and actions to effect positive change, believing that my issues are not about “me” but about others who are responsible for my issues; and,
• denial that my life choices have positive or negative mental, physical, emotional and spiritual effects on my overall health and well-be-ing, and that my pain and suffering are caused by some external event or circumstances.

Mired in the quicksand of victimization, we find ourselves constantly projecting our anger and negativity on to events, circumstances and others for our predicament. We project our (unconscious) inner frustration with ourselves out towards anyone or anything we feel we can blame for our state in life. Sadly, we’re actually creating our own universe but blaming others because it’s not what we want.

Taking time for honest and conscious self-reflection supports us to take responsibility for our self – including our “dark side.” Self-reflection sheds light on the “stories” we make up to avoid taking responsibility for how we project our “stuff” on to the world. Self-reflection supports us to identify how our emotional programming – anger, fears – create our lives at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

When we are honest and clear about our wants and needs, and what we are willing to do, we can create a solid foundation for our personal growth and development. We attract and relate with others who share the same self-empowering life view.

When we understand the lessons we need to learn from our current situation, what we need to do becomes obvious. Then we have to choose to take action. However, this understanding requires focus, commitment, consistency and compassion for our self.

Spending time in our inner world through meditation, silence, journaling, etc., is both emotionally and spiritually nourishing. This nourishment supports awareness of the “how” and “why” things appear in our lives – how we are creating our personal universe. Time in our inner world nurtures our capacity for self-love and self-kindness – which support us to create and inhabit a love-based, victim-less personal universe.

In this place of safety and protection, we begin to extricate our self from a victim mentality and move forward from a place of positivity and steadfastness. In our inner world, there can be no victimization as it’s a place of neutrality – a place of soul qualities – clarity, peacefulness, groundedness, stillness, surrender and allowing.

Self-reflecting helps us observe how we use our emotions to create our inner and outer worlds, our worlds of victimization. For example, are we being “nice” to accommodate others in our attempt to feel acknowledged, seen and loved or because we authentically wish to engage in adult, heart-felt, mature relationships – are we holding our physical, emotional and psychological boundaries with others or allowing others to threaten and abuse our boundaries so we can feel wanted and liked?

Once we have cultivated support, self-love and solid ground within, we can expand our space to include others. But we must be very conscious not to include any event, circumstance, idea, thing or person who will take us away from our center, from our self-love and move us back into feeling the victim.

When we surrender to someone else’s agenda, at work, at home, at play and in relationship, we enter their universe as a victim. The important question is why we allow others to control us. Perhaps, (1) We lack our own solid and self-confident life agenda; (2) We aren’t in touch with our heart and soul and we don’t trust ourselves; (3) We look to satisfy our wants and needs outside ourself and accommodate and compromise to be taken care of; or (4) We follow a path of least resistance in an attempt to avoid conflict and “keep the peace.” In all of these, we give away our power and become the victim.

Inner work and self-reflection, done diligently can often support us to:

1. to realize our own authority,
2. to assume responsibility for what we create and
3. to own the consequences of our choices, decisions and actions.

Inner work and self-reflection can support us to focus on what really matters, to let go of what holds us back, to trust our soul and Spirit for guidance and to use our core, inner strength (not “willpower” which hardly ever works) to take positive action for our self instead of engaging in self-destructive and self-sabotaging actions, releasing our self from the stranglehold of victimization.

Many “resolutions” are not conscious choices. They are knee-jerk reactions to something we don’t like about our self – and it’s usually about our “packaging” or some surface issue. True “resolve” requires a deep, inner, and conscious process. The start of 2010 is a wonderful opportunity to change our experience of failed “resolutions” to one of true and lasting change and transformation. We can choose to release the victim within and see what being in true control of our life is really, really like.

So, some questions for self reflection are:

1. Who or what is my guiding authority? How is this authority working for me?
2. What are my core values and how do they direct my choices and decisions at work, at home, at play and in relationship?
3. How do I choose and implement my personal standards?
4. Am I self-reliant? How so?
5. Do I ever explore the dynamics of my inner world?
6. What bright light shines in my inner world?
7. What does not shine in my inner world? Do I know why?
8. What feelings and thoughts inhabit my inner world? Are they supportive or limiting?
9. Who’s in my personal world? Are they supportive or toxic? Do I want them there? How have I attracted them into my life?
10. Did I (or others in my family) experience being a victim when I was growing up? How so? What was that like?
11. How can I create a more nurturing, loving and compassionate inner world for my body, mind and emotions?

SpiritHeart – Coaching for Essential Well-BE-ing
— at the intersection of body, mind, emotion and spirit
Values-Based Coaching, Counseling and Training
Phone: 770.804.9125 (Atlanta, GA, USA)
E-mail: pvajda [AT] spiritheart [DOT] net
www.spiritheart.net and www.ahchiyo.com
“What makes you think work and meditation are two different things?”
— Buddha at Work

Back to Charles:
Take a closer look at question number 2. I suspect that even folks who have spent years studying self development may not have a ready answer for that question. Do you know your values? The most basic, fundamental things that direct every choice you make?

And even for those who are sure they know their values – know the things that are most important to them – they may not recognize the level at which those values are producing results.

Example: if taking care of your family is one of your fundamental values and you’re wealthy, you’re likely to express it very differently than another person with the same values who is struggling at the bottom edge of survival.

The wealthy person might set up trust funds, while the person who’s barely staying afloat may rob gas stations. The underlying motivation may be the same, but the results in real life are wildly different.

I’m not suggesting that you’ve resorted to illegal activities – nor that you should – to be in harmony with your values. What I’m suggesting is that if you’ve made some choices in the past that produced unwelcome results, it might be the level at which you’re expressing your perfectly good and valid values. You’re not a failing type of person at the core… you’re invariably doing things for good reasons.

But there might be more productive, more satisfying ways to get where you’re trying to go.

And that’s where inner peace becomes so important. When you’re in touch with inner peace, you’re able to settle down, far below the strident, shrieking inner voices that keep you feeling frantic to “do something – anything”

Inner peace is your portal to being with your inner values at their pure, undiluted form. No layers of “need” or frantic desperation to get results now. Just a sure knowledge of who you are, without judgment, without need for explanation or excuse.

And when you begin living from that space, you can see struggle for what it is – a silly waste of energy that just gets in the way of real results.

So if you want real results in 2010, forget the resolutions – they’re mostly wishes. Instead, settle down, get quiet, and begin getting to know who you really are at the core. That’s inner peace. And it’s your birthright. Claim it now and EVERY year will be better.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

The BullsEye Club
Dates: (Notice how these dates slipped?)	December 10 December 15 January 6	Announce details of the new group Begin accepting applications Open private forum Start regular phone meetings
Action Plan:		To be announced on December 10
Commitment:		You’re my witnesses to this
Accountability:		You are my accountability partner

Then, a couple of days later, on December 2nd, I wrote:

Later this month, I’ll unveil my new BullsEye Club dedicated to teaching self motivation skills to anyone interested enough to sign up.

The first thing I want to give you is this fact: Self motivation is simple – dead simple. There is absolutely nothing complicated about it. Nothing even particularly difficult about it.

And I’d like to prove it to you. On December 10th I’ll announce the details about the BullsEye Club, and on December 15th I’ll start accepting applications. Look for more information soon.

You’ll notice that in the table above, I laid it on the line, inviting you to be my accountability partner on this. And then I did something a little sneaky. I deliberately let the deadline slide. For two straight weeks I did NOT send out an email, posted fewer than usual articles on the blog, and didn’t post a single word about the BullsEye Club. An almost total absence of followthrough.

And out of all my readers, only one dropped me an email and mentioned it. Only one. Furthermore, he was both polite and diplomatic about it. Excellent technique.

But you know what this tells me? It says to me that most people are not comfortable calling somebody on a lapse or a goof-up. I’m positive that quite a few readers noticed it. In fact, you probably did too. But nobody felt quite comfortable dropping me a line and just asking me what’s going on. Even after I invited you to – asked you to – gave you permission to.

Okay, First Lesson…

Before the BullsEye Club even opens its doors, the first lesson is this… if somebody (yes, me too) commits to do something and agrees to be accountability partners with you, when you see them falling behind, or not following through the way they said they would, it’s okay to speak up. You’re helping them do what they said they wanted to do. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. Of course, a respectful touch is always good form.

So in the future, if it looks to you as though I’m slipping up, falling behind, or otherwise not following through the way I said I would, I WANT you to remind me… okay? That’s an important part of learning how to motivate yourself.

Now, about the BullsEye Club. What’s in it for you?

In this Club, there will be 6 decisions you will learn to make, decisions that will become as natural as breathing for you.

6 Questions You’ll Ask Yourself and Answer:

1. What do you want?
2. Why?
3. How will you get it (your plan)?
4. When that hits snags, what are your plans B and C?
5. Who is your model?
6. Who will be your allies?

Naturally, you could take these six questions and do the whole thing yourself, but… most people are simply too unskilled in getting themselves to follow through. That’s where the Club comes in. You’ll have a support group of others with mutual interests, the same kind of objectives, all moving in the same direction. It’ll be a combination of mastermind group and accountability partners. Those are two things that it’s very hard to do for yourself.

You’ll notice from the list of questions above that the BullsEye Club will be very action oriented. You could use those questions to achieve any goal.

In our case, though, this Club will be especially for those with business goals. That is a deliberate choice on my part. If your objectives are directed more toward awakening and enlightenment, there are many excellent groups you can join, but the BullsEye isn’t going exclusively in that direction. It’s for people who are looking for mastery of their career and financial situation.

Now, we’ll do everything we can to raise your overall vibration level and consciousness, because without it, success in anything is difficult to impossible. So there will be a strong spiritual aspect, but we’ll cover plenty of practical matters as well.

Here are the skills we’ll concentrate on learning, and then polishing till they become automatic for you.

The 7 Skills You Will Build

1. Raise your average vibration rate
2. Raise your sights
3. Learn to choose and shape your beliefs and desires at will
4. Eliminate indecision
5. Learn to MAKE your decisions work
6. Swear off excuses forever
7. Learn to really care what happens

Again, you could take this list of seven skills and, working alone, build your own success toolkit. But as I stated above, most folks just don’t have the foundational skills they need to persist through all that personal growth all by themselves. We all need some kind of support.

So that brings us back to the BullsEye Club.

I’ll have more for you in a couple of days (no little tricks this time). Be on the lookout for info on how it’ll all work, how to sign up, plus a more complete list of what you’ll be getting out of it.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

In a Chinese modern dance competition that was televised, These two were among the top winners. The lady, in her 30’s, had trained to be a dancer since childhood. Then she lost her left arm in an accident and fell into deep depression for several years.

When she was asked to coach a Children’s dancing group, she regained her love of dance. So, she began attempting some of her old routines, but, with one arm missing, she had little sense of balance.

It took her a while to relearn how to do the simplest turns and spins without falling. Then she heard of a man in his 20’s who had lost a leg in an accident. He had also fallen into depression and anger. She decided to find him and talk him into dancing with her.

He had never danced, and to dance with one leg… what kind of cruel joke is this? “Impossible!”

But she didn’t give up. Finally, he reluctantly agreed, thinking, “I’m not doing anything else anyway.” She began teaching him to dance. The two argued and split several times because he had no idea of how a dancer uses his muscles nor how to control his body. He didn’t even know the basics of dancing. Anytime she grew frustrated and impatient, he would walk out.

Eventually, they both overcame their own self doubts and began training seriously. They hired a choreographer to design routines for them. And they entered the dance competition and ended up winning not only one of the top prizes but also the highest respect of everyone who witnessed their dazzling and graceful routine.

Ruth, a member of my mastermind group turned me on to this video, and I was blown away watching it. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

One of the things that especially struck me was how the man, a non-dancer with no background or experience turned into a graceful, commanding presence on the dance floor. His teacher never wasted time asking if he had any talent or not. She just intended an outcome and started working to see it achieved. The secret of all achievement!

So I return to the title statement: It’s How You Use it (and not what you’ve got) that make you an amazing person.

So What DO You Have?

When you sit to make your list of things you have, what’s on that list? Does it include two arms, two legs? Be thankful. Can you see or hear or speak? Think gratitude. (And if you don’t have one or more of these, then consider the couple in the dance routine and the example they’ve set for us.)

And what about your list of things you have but are not using, is it almost as long as your first list? Does it include all the books on your shelf? All the CDs, the Manuals and DVDs and training courses? All the PDFs and MP3s on your hard drive?

And what about your time? How is it being used? All your non-job related hours? Are you storing up weeks and years of memories of TV shows? Or is your time spent doing things with your loved ones? Are you expending effort and sweat and energy to pursue a dream, like the dancers did? Or are you potatoing on the couch?

“Oh, but that’s hard…”

Well, yeah, it is. So what? So is coming to the end of your life and looking back on all the things you were going to do “someday” but never did, and now the show is almost over.

I repeat – what’ve you got that you’re not using? What could you do about it?

“Oh but I don’t know how…”

That’s a pot of malarky. We have the Internet. We have access to more experts, more teachers, more speakers and coaches and consultants and libraries and resources and assets than ever before in the history of the world. What’s lacking is not knowhow.

What’s missing in most cases is want-to… motivation. We’ve never trained ourselves to make decisions and put forth effort on demand. Our world makes survival easy, so we take it the easy way.

If you’d like to gear yourself up to be a real achiever, maybe for the first time in your life – or if you’re already an achiever, to shift it up to another level – there’s lots you can do. And I stand ready to help you.

The BullsEye Club

Later this month, I’ll unveil my new BullsEye Club dedicated to teaching self motivation skills to anyone interested enough to sign up.

The first thing I want to give you is this fact: Self motivation is simple – dead simple. There is absolutely nothing complicated about it. Nothing even particularly difficult about it.

And I’d like to prove it to you. On December 10th I’ll announce the details about the BullsEye Club, and on December 15th I’ll start accepting applications. Look for more information soon.

Remember, it’s not what advantages or talents you were born with, it’s how you’re using what you have. Pure and simple. In the meantime, hold onto this thought – self motivation is simple stuff.

Cheers from Charles

To put it another way, when we want this more than we want that we move to make it so.

With the new year coming up in another month, a lot of us will be setting new goals, starting important new projects, and making a list of new year’s resolutions. To help you get ready well in advance, I’m starting a new series of articles and teleseminars on motivation and goal setting. Also a new BullsEye Club for training in simple, easy self motivation, but more about that later…

So – to better understand how motivation works, let’s first take a look at how DE-motivation functions. In other words, let’s examine what we do when we motivate ourselves to be DEmotivated.

You’re facing a task that you’re not exactly eager to do – maybe it’s taking out the trash. As you think about it, you’re aware of your long-standing feelings about the chore: Your reluctance, your distaste for handling the trash, your feelings that “man, I don’t LIKE doing this.” Those feelings all come bubbling up as soon as the thought of trash crosses your mind.

(Note – your particular “hate task” may not have anything to do with trash. It might be making the beds, or washing the dishes, or mowing the lawn, or washing the car, or picking up the clothes lying around.)

But why do those feelings of reluctance come bubbling up so easily? No mystery there… it’s long practice, pure and simple. You’ve felt this way about trash since you can remember (and may have even absorbed those feelings from parents or older siblings when you were still too young to be aware of it).

In other words, it’s a habit.

Your habitual thinking makes you exactly who you are today. Including your avoidance of taking out the trash (and other prejudices).

And motivation to jump in and tackle what we DO want is exactly the same process.

Now let’s put that simple bit of knowledge to use. Today, guest author Kerry Sullivan gives us a sure-fire method for…

Motivation – How to Get it Done
By Kerry Sullivan

How often have you heard someone say, “I don’t feel like it,” or “I have no motivation?” Yet these same people want the motivation to finish whatever it is they lack motivation for. We have all been in those shoes. We sometimes lack the drive to get something done.

There are situation where we all have high motivation. Hunger is often a good example of this. When you are famished and ready to eat your own body weight in food, chances are you’re pretty good at devouring some food and solving your hunger.

The great news is that you can use this type of high motivation to have high motivation for anything. For you to get motivation, a specific pattern happens in your head. When this pattern is initiated you get motivated.

Here is how you figure out your own pattern. I will use myself as an example. When I’m hungry my thought pattern operates like this:

1. I state either out loud or in my head, “I’m hungry!” or “I need food!”
2. I then start visualizing different types of food choices.
3. I then associate the taste and a picture of the food with a good feeling of having my hunger satisfied.
4. I then take action to feed myself and walk to the kitchen.

Let’s say I now have little motivation to take out the trash. I can take the same thought pattern and give myself motivation. Example:

1. I state in my head or out loud, “I need to take out the trash,” or “I want to take out the trash.”
2. I visualize myself taking out the trash.
3. I associate a good feeling with taking out the trash, such as “when it’s done, I will feel as though I have accomplished something.”
4. I get up a take out the trash.

You can now do the same thing. Write out what steps you go through in your head for things that you have high motivation for.

You may have more or fewer steps than I do. Your steps may be very different than mine, too, as everyone’s motivation strategy is uniquely theirs and perfect for them. Before you act to get something done, there will be some type of mental pattern going on. This pattern is represented by your senses as a visualization–touching, feeling, sound and/or smell.

You will put the senses together in your head in order to complete that for which you are highly motivated.

When you lack motivation the pattern is not the same. Thus, you only need to put your motivation pattern into place to get your motivation back, and then . . . shazam! You got your motivation “A” game.

For more on how to live at your highest level go to http://www.heretorock.com

Back to Charles:
Learning from and using your own patterns is the best, most sure-fire shortcut in existence for getting things done. We don’t need any magical, mystical, super-advanced, hyper-jargon-wonkie technique to motivate ourselves. We’re already motivating ourselves every day of our lives.

It has, however, become such an automatic, habitual, easy thing to do that we don’t pay it much attention. Then, when we want to deliberately and consciously motivate ourselves to do something we consider difficult, we feel sort of powerless simply because we’ve lost conscious touch with how to do it. We’ve been on automatic too long.

Once we get back in touch with our natural abilities, it all becomes simple again. Try it and see.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

What do we do then? How do we make ourselves STAY motivated all the way to the finish line? Often, the reason the excitement wears off is because we didn’t think things all the way through to the later stages.

For example, you just got a nice, intriguing mental image of something possible, but you didn’t spend the time required to think of every step along the way. In other words, you could see where you are now, and you could see a sparkling (but somehow vague) image of a finished project. What was missing were the details regarding the steps for getting from here to there.

Motivation is hard to maintain when the vision is incomplete. In part 2 of this series, guest author Kerry Sullivan tells us about…

Motivation – 2 Ways to STAY Motivated
By Kerry Sullivan

How do you stay motivated to achieve whatever it is you are going after?

1) Know what you really want.
This may seem obvious, but something too vague can make it tough to stay focused.

Here is an example. Making more money is a pretty general goal. So set your focus on a specific number, on how much you want to make in a given time-frame. This can be daily, weekly, monthly or whatever else you want it to be.

Get even more specific and write down the reason for making more money. Is it because you want a new car, boat, house? Write it down.

After doing this you may want to change your goal. For example money may not be your true want. In most cases it is what the money will give a person that is important. Driving a new Ferrari may be the real desired outcome. Thus the Ferrari should be the real focus.

This will allow you to get more excited about what you are aiming to achieve. In doing this you may open up other avenues for getting what you really want. If one wants a Ferrari and focuses on just making more money to buy a Ferrari, they may be cutting off other potential ways of getting a Ferrari.

2) AIM BIG!
Make your goal something you want with a scorching desire. If your goal is too easy it can be hard to get motivated.

For example, if you tie your shoes every day and decide that your goal is to tie your shoes today, you’re probably not going to have a burning desire to tie your shoes, although you still might do it. Make your goals big and exciting and it will be easier to stay motivated.

You want your goal to be a challenge, something you really want. So the saying goes, “To get what you have never had you must do what you have never done.”

Think about a time when you had to step out of your comfort zone to get what you wanted.

I remember the first time I asked a girl to dance in Junior High. It was at a school dance. I was so nervous that I was practically crapping myself. I had a crush on this one blond-haired and blue-eyed girl. I thought she was the hottest thing ever. I stood just staring at her and then started pacing back and forth with nervous anticipation. Then I got the balls to ask her. I made a bee-line for her and I asked her to dance and she said, “sure.” VICTORY! It was sweet.

To get what you really want you’re going to have to step outside your comfort zone. Think about a time when you had to step out of your comfort zone to get what you wanted. It might have been a bit scary, but that fear of the unknown is largely what made getting what you wanted so rewarding. Aim big and it will keep you motivated and be more enjoyable in the end.

To get more strategies to perform at your best go to http://www.heretorock.com

Back to Charles:
I was five years old, and Mom had been tying my shoes for as long as I could remember, but one day I asked her to show me how she did it. To me, this was just so BIG. I wanted to learn how this this wonderfully adult task was done. After a couple of days, I thought I was ready to try it myself.

And to this day, more than 60 years later, I can still recall my excitement and how nervous and shaky my hands were as I went about, for the first time ever, tying my own shoeslaces. I wasn’t quite sure I could remember the whole thing, but I just went ahead and tried anyway. I even remember hurrying so I could get it done before Mom came in to help me.

Lo and behold! Those shoes ended up tied, and they looked just like when Mom did it! And when she came in to help me, I announced as casually as I could manage, “Oh I already did it,” as though it were nothing.

Over the ensuing years I’ve tied my shoes a lot of times, but it’s never been as exciting as that first time.

There are two points to this little story. First, notice that what I wanted to do was specific. I knew exactly what the end result would look like.

The second point is the excitement. Why not go back through your own personal memories and recall important new things you’ve done in the past? When you do, make careful note of the feelings associated with those early successes (back before you were too jaded and “cool” to pretend you didn’t care). Then anchor those feelings of excitement, eagerness and hunger to do something.

How do you anchor a feeling? While you’re thinking of the earlier success (childhood memories are especially useful), and while the feelings are nice and strong, deliberately do a specific action (tug on your ear, or make a circle with your thumb and finger, maybe tap your left foot, or whatever) and you’ll be making a new association between the feeling and that specific action. Repeat this process several times to make the new association (anchor), strong and easy to trigger.

Later, when there’s a new project or task you want to motivate yourself for, think deeply about the new project, and several times, as you’re thinking, repeat your anchor. This transfers the old feelings of motivation and excitement from long ago into this new project, and you have a big headstart on getting it done.

Remember, there are two points here. Be specific, and get excited because you feel like it’s BIG. Simple huh? Now that you know how, it’s just a matter of doing it. Are we excited yet?

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

The point of this is, you are hard-wired to achieve, to strive, to move forward relentlessly until your life matches that picture you’re holding in your mind.

It’s important to remind yourself of this fact on those days when it seems like everything is falling apart and your goals are always hiding somewhere beyond the horizon. The truth is, nothing ever falls apart. Everything is proceeding exactly as you program them to.

Not satisfied with the results you’re getting? Then it’s time to learn more about how your mind creates your reality. In part 3 of this series, guest author Kerry Sullivan would like to introduce you to your…

Heat Seeker Motivation Skills
By Kerry Sullivan

When someone tells you that you can’t do something, or that you’re no good; or if you start believing that you are never going to achieve your goals, it HURTS. Well the reason that it hurts is because you are genetically wired to strive for more, to accomplish high goals, to go above and beyond. You are designed to be a heat-seeking missile that eventually hits the target.

Maxwell Maltz wrote a great book titled, Psycho-Cybernetics, and in this book he says exactly that: You are a heat-seeking missile. A heat-seeking missile has tremendous power and potential, but along the way to its target it makes constant adjustments to stay locked-on to its target. We’re the same way. We are genetically wired to reach our goals and hit the target, but we have to adjust along the way to compensate for changes and mistakes.

Think a little about human history. When the cavemen first discovered fire, they didn’t just sit around saying, “Hey, this fire is great. Sometimes we get food and sometimes we don’t, but that’s OK; life is pretty good just like this. Let’s just stay here and hang out by the fire and keep hunting the same way we always do.” No way! They didn’t say that. Over human history, people have always been striving for more and better. We improved our shelter, took over continents, invented all kinds of amazing things, went to the moon. Who knows where we’ll go from here? I don’t know, but I do know that we will continue to strive for more because we are genetically wired for that.

The problem for many people is that when they make a mistake or encounter an obstacle, they give up. They forget that they are a heat-seeking missile!

Think about a baby. When it’s first born, the baby will try to reach out for objects. But because its coordination isn’t fully developed yet, the baby’s arm zigzags until it finally latches on to the object. The baby makes micro-adjustments until the object is in hand. The same thing happens when a toddler starts to walk. He starts out wobbling from here to there. He falls and cries. But he keeps getting up and trying again, making little adjustments until finally he grows up and is running marathons.

You’re the exact same way when you set a goal. You’re going to wobble. You’re going to screw up and make mistakes. But those errors are part of the learning process. They will help you grow and meet higher goals. But for that to happen, you can’t give up and quit, otherwise you will never learn.

I can tell you one thing for sure: Anyone who has ever accomplished anything big got there because they FAILED TO QUIT. They just kept going, like a heat-seeking missile, until they hit the target. They made little adjustments along the way, but they kept pressing on.

So get out there, set your goal, launch with power and passion, and never quit! You are a heat-seeking missile!

To get more strategies to perform at your best go to http://www.heretorock.com

Back to Charles:
So heat-seeking missiles we are, then. And if we want to better understand how this applies to us, let’s look at how a real missile (or torpedo) guidance system operates.

First there’s a way to lock on to a target. That’s us setting a goal.

Next, it needs to have a sensing and feedback mechanism so it knows whether it’s aimed accurately or not. And if it’s not, then it must have a way to correct course.

We do this when we pay attention to what we do and check how well we’re moving toward our goal. Brian Tracy often says, “If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” Measuring your progress is a simple, unequivocal way to know instantly how you’re doing.

Once we have a system like this (and actually start using it), it doesn’t even matter if the target moves or changes slightly while we’re en route. We just correct course, keep moving forward and eventually reach the target.

But unlike a heat-seeking missile, our objective is not to self-destruct – or it shouldn’t be. That’s why setting a good goal (including what we’ll do after we reach it) is an important first step.

So as you do those two things – first set a clear goal, and second pay close attention to your progress – you’re using your natural guidance system to live the life you want. Now, how might you put this to use in the coming year?

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

If you had a technique to assure a 95% chance of success every single time you tackle a project – any project at all – how often would you put it to use? All the time? Part of the time? Never? Logically, there’s only one sensible answer here, right?

Farther down this page, I’ll announce a new service that’ll not only hand you this method on a silver platter, but it’ll also nurse you through the first, not-quite-sure stage while it’s still new to you. But more about that later.

Right now, let’s turn to guest author Kerry Sullivan, who knows exactly how to…

Make a Change, Make it Stick
By Kerry Sullivan

If you are like most people, you have come across what you thought was a great idea and then thought, “Wow! I should do that.” But then, after you sit and think about it for a while, the days pass and nothing happens. Pretty soon, the idea has disappeared from your thoughts and you continue living the same way you always have.

This is a very common tendency, one that often causes us to miss out on some great new adventures and achievements. If we were able to implement at least one really good idea effectively, it might bring dramatic improvement to our lives.

As someone once said, “To have what you’ve never had you have to do what you’ve never done.”

So how can we break free from this tendency and make change happen? Well, I recently came across some research conducted by Brigham Young University in 1993 that focused on exactly that question. They surveyed a large population and found some fascinating and helpful results.

When people said:

1. “Nice idea,” and did nothing more, only 10 percent made the change happen.
2. When the person said, “Nice idea; I’ll do it,” that number increased to 25 percent of the population.
3. There was a 40 percent success rate for those who actually set a date to start implementing the change.
4. The success rate increased even more, to 50 percent, when the person set a date and made an action plan.
5. When the person set a date, made a plan, and made a commitment to others involved in the project, 60 percent of the people were successful.
6. But what brought about the highest success rate was this: Among those surveyed, there was a 95 percent success rate when people set a specific date, made a plan, and found some third party to hold them accountable!

We can all learn a lot from this research. The moral of the story is that we need to have other people help us get the job done. We need someone behind us saying, “Hey, did you accomplish what you planned to do this week for that new project? No? Why not, you bum?! Get going!”

So don’t let those good ideas that come to mind just slip by and disappear. Set a date, make an action plan, make commitments, and find someone to kick you in the butt so you don’t give up. If you do that, you will become the person you want to be… and ROCK it!

To get more strategies to perform at your best go to http://www.heretorock.com

Back to Charles:
Okay, there we have them – the proven, tested steps to achievement. To be like a target-seeking missile and hit the BullsEye consistently:

1. Set a date
2. Make an action plan
3. Make deliberate commitments
4. Work with an accountability partner

Many of us will gladly do the first two steps, but once we get into steps three and four, we develop a measure of reluctance.

We’re murmuring, “Oh, I don’t need an outsider to help me… I can do it myself.” That’s what we’re thinking, but it’s not what we’re feeling. Deep down inside, where the shame and fear crawl around in the back of our minds, we’re feeling, “I don’t want somebody else to have something on me, because I’m pretty likely to have some lapses… or get bogged down… or lose interest altogether.”

And you know what? That’s how we set ourselves up to NOT follow through and achieve. We leave options open for ourselves, and they’re some of the worst options we could choose.

So… on December 15th I’ll open the doors to a new accountability group I’m starting – sort of like a mastermind group – to help any of my readers who’d like to raise the bar on what they expect from themselves.

In other words, I’m announcing this publicly and openly, right here and now (and no other options).

If you’re interested in participating in our BullsEye Club, drop me an email. But please don’t use any of my other email addresses. I’ve found it’s too hard to track when mails are coming in from every direction. Use this contact form only to make sure I know you’re interested.

And if you have any questions – or even better, suggestions – by all means feel free to send ‘em to me, using the contact form. I’d love to hear from you on this.

Now on to Part 5 of our Self Motivation Is Super Simple series.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles