Is There a ‘Right’ Reason to Do Attraction Work?
We’ve been flooded with stories, theories and advice about the Law of Attraction… and opinions (like noses, it seems like everybody’s got one). So whom do you believe? What advice do you follow?
And those stories of attracting homes, money, love… do you personally know anybody in any of those stories, or are they second-hand, third-hand tales handed around like urban legends?
The question is, what’s true and what’s not?
Let’s face it, there will always be promoters who want to make a fast buck on the latest trendy fad. When it was mediation, a slew of “teachers” jumped into the market selling their own door to enlightenment. Another wave brought us many flavors of speed reading. And when Jose Silva introduced his method, suddenly the promoters moved into teaching knockoff “mind programming” seminars.
And why not, you ask? The public wants their fads, their quick fixes and their trendy trainings to tell about at the next party. So is there any harm is giving them what they’re shopping for?
Or is it all “bad”? How do we separate the wheat from the crap? Let’s cut straight to the point: it’s my opinion that nobody is wrong all the time, and that we can learn from everyone, whether we agree or disagree with them.
In that spirit, today I’m running two articles discussing “The Secret.” Each takes a slightly different view. I recommend reading them both with your mind open for the underlying principles being discussed. Even though these two articles seem to take different approaches and appear to conflict, look beneath the surface, and you may find that they are teaching much the same ideas, but from different perspectives, and with different target readers in mind.
This first article was written by long-time contributing author Peter Vajda back in 2007. In it he asks…
The Secret – Is It Just Spiritual Materialism?
By Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C.
If you haven’t heard, the latest buzz is all about The Secret. Many folks say it’s HUGE. I saw the movie last week. In case you’re unaware, the movie’s general theme is about creating what you want by accessing the Universal Law of Attraction, that is, what we think about is what we attract.
If you think about positive things, well, positive things result. Ditto the negative.
But what intrigues me is the seeming use of spirituality as a marketing tool to manifest “stuff” and a naivety with which the narrators disregard the inner workings of the psyche which can sabotage the positive thinking approach to “having it all.”
For me, “The Secret” is the Napoleon Hill, “Think and Grow Rich” of 2006-2007. I’ve seen the Secret and view it as a prime example of “spiritual materialism” which is behavior that is purely ego-driven.
Some thoughts: When there is a conflict between a positive thought and a negative emotion, the emotion will always win. So, when one decides to “think positive” but is doing so because, emotionally, they are frustrated, angry, envious, jealous, or fearful, etc., there’s a pretty good chance the thought will not manifest – which is one reason why many folks’ attempts at living the Secret (“positive thinking”, visualizing positive manifesting, and prayer, for that matter) end up in not “getting what I want.”
Too, when the effort, and for many it is efforting (which goes against the Yin and Yang of Universal flow) comes from one’s ego, there’s a good chance that one will not get what one wants or one will get what one doesn’t want (i.e., the Soul’s response to the ego’s demand).
Trust is sorely lacking here.
Also, in our Western culture, we are basically averse to pain on every level. This week I saw an interview with Jennifer Hudson, the young singer who was voted off of American Idol and stole the show in the movie, Dreamgirls. Jennifer was asked how she responded to being eliminated from Idol when most people thought she would win. She admitted that it was painful and that she cried a lot, but that eventually she returned to her faith. “I chose to trust that God had a bigger plan for me than I could see at the time,” she explained.
Trust… surrender… allow… probably not a lot of hand-wringing, mental gymnastics, “mind control”, positive thinking (better go see the Secret!!!)….. just allowing and trust.
The Secret, in my mind, is supposed to be the antidote to experiencing life’s disappointments, or, for that matter, eliminating life’s disappointments. For me, Jennifer’s story is a powerful reminder of how life’s disappointments may in fact be preparation for something even more significant in our lives. And, this belief has the best chance of coming true when one makes a demonstrated (read “conscious”) commitment to learn and grow from one’s present day circumstances NOT by evading, avoiding, denying and “thinking” one’s way away from them.
So, for example, what am I learning about me, my work, my business, or how I am in relationship… what’s really at cause when it comes to a dearth of clients, or clients I would like to have, or a painful breakup of a relationship, or…
The pain and suffering are teachers pointing to what we need to learn about “me” – about who I am and how I am in life. The pain forces one to grow, to mature emotionally and spiritually, to face fears and frustrations…the pain is a call to action, a call to learn, an opportunity to grow…and since many folks refuse to be self-responsible for working on their own “stuff”, well, now we have the latest quick-fix, The Secret, that says, “Oh, no biggie, just think positive and all will be well.” Hmmm.
Just be positive… hmmm… my take is that there are many, many silently angry, fearful, frustrated folks out there… folks who have 20, 30, 40, 50 years of anger, fear, frustration, etc. inhabiting their cells and have never dealt with their emotional awareness or maturity.
These are some of the 98% of the folks who will find it challenging, well-neigh impossible, to sustain positive attitudes, positive outlooks, positive reactions to the vicissitudes of life… on whom the secret of The Secret will be lost.
“Waddya mean, I thought positive six times yesterday and nothing happened!?” Six times in the midst of a day replete with negative judgments of others, bullying, gossiping, being sarcastic, angry, mean-spirited and disrespectful, not trusting anything or anyone, lying, cheating.
For the 2% who really, really get it, the Secret is no secret – living life from the inside out, trusting without needing to control, experiencing life’s pain as a teacher, surrendering their ego, seeing that life is larger than getting that parking space or Starbucks… that it’s not about spiritual materialism.
When a pickpocket meets a Holy man, all he sees is the pockets. In my humble opinion, The Secret, for many (over and above the 2%), is all about the pockets.
SpiritHeart – Coaching for Essential Well-BE-ing
— at the intersection of body, mind, emotion and spirit
Values-Based Coaching, Counseling and Training
Phone: 770.804.9125 (Atlanta, GA, USA)
E-mail: pvajda [AT] spiritheart [DOT] net
www.spiritheart.net and www.ahchiyo.com
“What makes you think work and meditation are two different things?”
— Buddha at Work
Back to Charles:
Clearly, some strong points are made here – but are they “truths”? Are they always and invariably true for everyone in all cases?
I invite you to read the next article now, and see if you can find a balance point somewhere on common ground.
Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles
Related Posts:
