True Colors – And the Finale… Little Green Men
There are different kinds of people in the world – we’re all aware of that, sometimes painfully so – and especially when our own “commonsense” way of doing things collides with someone else’s interpretation of sensible behavior.
“No right-minded person would behave that way,” we tell ourselves… and anybody else who’ll listen.
Unfortunately, we’re not quite right, ourselves. “Right-minded,” as it turns out, is a bit of a fuzzy concept. It’s hard to nail down because everybody we ask has a different idea what it means. And if we pay close enough attention, we may even notice that each person’s definition is skewed in their own favor.
Welcome to the birthplace of intolerance.
Offsetting that attitude skew is the ability of most people to accommodate some leeway in what’s “right” and acceptable in other people’s behavior. This is a good thing. It means most people never develop into fanatics, zealots or inquisitors.
You’ve probably heard the old phrase: “it’d be a boring world if everybody were the same.” Well, everybody is not the same, so there’s no danger of boredom setting in just yet.
Continuing the True Colors series this week, guest columnist Russ Hamel gives us clearer insights into that quiet guy in the office who’s a bit of a loner and who actually enjoys his own company, the Green personality.
If Only They Would Leave Me ALONE!
By Russ Hamel
Kermit the Frog Was Right…
It’s NOT easy being Green!
As citizens of this wonderful planet Earth, Greens have to face the sometimes agonizing fact that there are other people with whom they must interact on a far too frequent basis. The Greenest of Greens go through life thinking, “Things would be so much better if only they would leave me alone!”
Of course, there are many shades of Green. However, even the lightest tones will show a preference – even a need – for at least some time to themselves. Being predominantly Green myself, I can vouch for this fact. I get antsy, impatient and even grumpy when I’m around people – no matter how many – for too long, unless we are totally in sync with one another as my wife Maggie and I are. I absolutely NEED at least an hour or two of daily quiet, alone time.
I’ve been like this since my earliest recollections. Growing up in a family of seven kids, I had more than ample opportunity to interact with my siblings and their many friends. However, I was always off by myself, practicing my music or reading and researching things that were of interest to me.
I found great comfort in being alone. Playing with others, and especially having to follow their rules, was extremely difficult. Even in school, I was a “Why Guy”. I questioned everything. “Why did we have to do it THAT way? Heck, why did we even have to do it at all?”
If I didn’t get an answer that appealed to my logic, I withdrew my attention from the activity. What was the point? Of course, I spent a LOT of time in detention for being uncooperative and incorrigible. Unfortunately, the book, “True Colors” wasn’t around back in the 60′s during my formative years.
Interestingly enough, I’m the only one of my siblings to live long-distance from where I grew up. I love my family dearly and I’m in constant communication with them via FaceBook and phone. In many ways, I’m still protecting my personal, private space! Even Maggie lovingly calls me ‘Mr. Green’ when I begin showing my best Green qualities.
Greens are very easy to recognize. With my recent health issues, I’ve been able to observe many doctors and nurses. The Green ones have extremely poor bedside manners, virtually no people skills. Their answers – if they answer you at all – are always abrupt. Their body language suggests that they would much rather be back in their office doing paper work and research… ANYTHING other than dealing with people.
I know the feeling. My little six-year-old step-daughter Ambrosia is now in the ‘Why’ stage of her life. You would think a ‘Why Guy’ like me would understand and patiently answer all of her questions. NOT SO. Like my Green doctors, I have zero tolerance for small talk and almost always defer the little one’s questions to Maggie – or I simply don’t answer.
So, What Good Are Greens to Society?
Greens are tenacious problem solvers. We are always looking for a better way to do things, even if the ‘best’ way is already in place. Routines and systems are the order of the day. Greens LOVE to put things into easy-to-follow, step-by-step systems.
This is perhaps my greatest contribution to my family. All three of my ladies are True Blues – wonderfully sensitive, loving AND… so easily distracted. When Maggie and I first got together, I was appalled at the lack of structure in the home. My ladies were ALWAYS late… I doubted if they even knew what a clock was.
All that changed in a hurry. When Maggie recognized my skill in time management and keeping the girls up to speed, she gratefully handed the duties of ‘Official Keeper of the Clock’ to me. Yes, I constantly have to bark to keep my ladies on schedule. But compared to where things were before I came on the scene, Maggie will agree that it is far superior now.
I have systems and routines in place for EVERYTHING. I explain to the girls that weekday activities before and after school are just like school itself… the bell rings, it’s time for the next item on the routine. For our family, it’s the ONLY way things get done in a timely manner. Weekends are left unstructured. The girls are most grateful for that. 
Can You Do It… Yes You Can!
Competence ranks high on Green’s priorities. Both Maggie and I agree that the girls should do as much for themselves as possible. The little one especially is always begging for ‘help’. And because she is so tiny and ‘cute’, she can usually manipulate others to do things for her that she could easily do for herself. Not on MY watch, Baby!
Just the other day, Ambrosia was playing on her computer when she suddenly asked for ‘help’. Both Maggie and I were close by and could have easily offered assistance. As it turned out, the ‘help’ Ambrosia requested was in reading some simple instructions in order to continue with her game. Since she is in first grade and knows enough about reading to sound out even fairly difficult words, Maggie and I told her to figure it out for herself or she would have to shut down the computer and go play something less challenging, like dolls.
Ambrosia never left the computer. Maggie and I can only assume that she did eventually figure it out.
You Call THIS Work?
I remember reading an anecdote about Thomas Edison. One day after seeing her husband working so hard, Edison’s wife Mina asked, “Tommy, why don’t you take a break from your work and do something you like for a change?”
Minutes later, Mina found her Tommy back in his workshop. Before she could protest, Edison anticipated by saying, “You told me to do something I like!”
And that’s EXACTLY how many Greens, myself included, react to their ‘work’. As long as we’re alone, we could be writing, researching, inventing… whatever. Compared to dealing with the world, our ‘work’ isn’t work at all!
Always Raising the Bar
This can be a good Green trait; sometimes it can be detrimental. Before my recent health challenges when I was exercising on a regular basis, everything was measurable and quantifiable. When I went for a run, I had my trusty stop-watch clicking off the time. Every day I pushed myself to reach a new personal best. I HAD to beat my old time by at least a second or two or I would deem myself a failure for that day!
If I did 25 push-ups today, tomorrow I had to do 26+. I was constantly pushing the envelope.
Even today I am forever measuring my recovery from my near-death experience over Christmas time, from my weight gains to how long it takes me to catch my breath after I stretch yesterday’s boundaries. This part of my personality has always concerned Maggie. Although I feign resistance, I have to thank her for keeping me in check as I could easily over-do myself.
Of course, Greens expect everyone else to raise their own personal bars, too. This is something Maggie needs to remind me about as well. Just because I push myself to new heights every day doesn’t mean that everyone else wants to or can do the same thing. As Greens need quiet and alone time, I have to realize that others may also need some down time to relax. Because this appeals to my logic, I find it easy to back off my girls… unless they get too lax, of course.
Cool, Calm and Collected
When Maggie and I first got together, she thought I was one of the most bland, expressionless individuals she had ever met. By contrast, when Maggie has something on her mind, she likes to go toe-to-toe and get answers NOW! I’ve personally experienced her wrath on several occasions and I’ll tell you, a fiery emotional Blue is not someone you want to mess with.
So yes, compared to Maggie, I easily can be read as too laid back and even ‘boring’. Although I do bark at my girls to be on time, most of that is a pre-calculated act. Inside, I delight in making the little ones jump at my commands to MOVE IT!
Otherwise, I like to think that I bring a calming stability into our home. I am definitely more logical than emotional… unless you cut into my quiet, alone time – I’ll quickly let you know about that in no uncertain terms.
Together We Make the BEST Team
I don’t know too many people who can brag about the kind of relationship that Maggie and I have. We seem to have the perfect balance with Maggie’s Blue TLC and my Green structure and organization. Since my secondary color is Blue and Maggie’s secondary color is Gold (closely resembling many of Green’s traits), we easily understand, accept and support each other. We truly have a match made in heaven.
This concludes our brief overview on True Colors. If you are even the least bit interested in what makes people tick, it is a fascinating and a most worthwhile study. (Of course, a Green would say this!) For further reading, check out the following:
“Showing Our True Colors” by Mary Miscicin based on the work by Don Lowry
“Follow Your True Colors To The Work You Love” by Carolyn Kalil and Don Lowry
Both books can be found on Amazon.com, and these links are commissionable affiliate links.
All the best from Toronto,
Russ and Maggie
The world can seem like a crazy place sometimes…
OK, a LOT of the time! However, no matter what is going on in your life, magic happens when you learn how to choose better feelings now!
You’re Gonna Love That Feeling
Back to Charles:
So there we have it – the basic personality types characterized and organized, then symbolized by colors.
Is there a bit of green in you? I must have some of that myself. I’ve always loved my quiet time, ever since I was young. Back then the experts were describing my situation as “latch-key kid.” When I got home from school neither Mom nor Dad was home yet. I had to take care of myself for three hours or more… and it was heaven. I always considered it a wonderful, quiet break from the constant bickering, fighting and sniping that went on once everybody was home.
After reaching adulthood, I found that I didn’t have very good people skills and had to work on developing them deliberately. They didn’t come quite naturally. But I did learn, and now I truly can enjoy being in crowds. Man… that’s a big change.
So these days I don’t feel the need for quiet as strongly as I did back then, but my home life is far more peaceful. Even so, I do spend much of my day at the computer without face-to-face interaction for hours at a time.
How about you? What’s your color? (Sounds a bit like a pickup line in a bar, doesn’t it?)
Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles
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