True Colors – Orange Is for Excitement
Over the centuries, experts have categorized personalities according to a wide variety of systems. One of the more recent (and useful) of these is the unlikely but surprisingly effective “True Colors” system. Though it has only four divisions, and you’d think that’s not enough to cover the seemingly endless varieties of human behavior, many professionals in the mental health and human resources fields are putting it to use.
If you’ve been following this series of articles, you may have already recognized some of your friends and family members – maybe even yourself.
Today guest contributor Russ Hamel continues as he draws back the veil to reveal the “Orange” personality, with all its charming and not-so-charming characteristics.
How to Be a Most Unfit Dad
By Russ Hamel
If Gold is Night, Orange is Day
The two previous men in Maggie’s life – her first husband, followed by a four-year relationship with a much younger man – could not have been more different than night and day. Her husband was a true Gold. His primary color, while it seemed to have many great family-man features often manifested in smothering control. By the end of their marriage, that smothering control had turned into outright abuse.
Maggie was still going through child custody issues and brought her daughter to weekly Children’s Aid sessions when she met Mr. Orange. She definitely was NOT looking for another relationship at this time. However, true to his Orange color characteristics, he turned on his charm and swept Maggie off her feet.
At first, she was flattered that someone so young would take an interest in her. Mr. Orange was 12 years her junior. However, Maggie being a petite and gorgeous Asian woman, looked much younger than her years should have revealed. After being in such a stifling, controlling relationship, the thought of taking up with Mr. Orange seemed kind of fun… if not a bit risky and naughty. Mr. Orange made Maggie feel like a school girl again and she found herself reveling in the feeling.
Don’t Fence Me In
As with most new relationships, things were terrifically fun for the first few months. Maggie found herself doing adventurous things with Mr. Orange that she could never have even dreamed of with her ex-husband. For once, she was having the time of her life!
Soon enough though, truth showed up. Maggie was a responsible woman with a young child and a stable job. With her new relationship, she was expecting her partner to settle down and become more of a family man, contributing to the common cause with his own work. That’s when she discovered Mr. Orange’s real traits.
Oranges can be perceived as slackers. This was one of the first things Maggie noticed. Even though he was a bright enough guy, her Mr. Orange took very menial jobs such as parking cars. But because Maggie was so stable, he found it all too easy to call in sick or even quit his job when he no longer felt like working.
Mr. Orange had nothing of his own… no car, no phone – he took everything Maggie so generously shared with him and abused it to the fullest; driving the car until the gas tank was empty; running up phone bills to the tune of hundreds of dollars per month. He gave back NOTHING!
Everything to Mr. Orange was a joke. He took nothing seriously. It seems so strange that this was part of his initial appeal!
Freedom is a MAJOR issue for Oranges, and this particular Mr. Orange was no different. If he felt like going out, he would leave Maggie alone, often for entire evenings, while he went out to play with friends and relatives. He never advised Maggie where he was going or when he planned to return. You see, with Oranges, there rarely is a plan as they are totally spontaneous and in-the-moment creatures. If something better came up, Mr. Orange was there!
It Gets Worse
Mr. Orange also continued with his flirtatious ways, even months after securing a relationship with Maggie. When they went out to public places, Mr. Orange would openly flirt with other woman or compare Maggie to them. As you might guess, this did absolutely nothing for Maggie’s self-esteem and feelings of worth and security.
Perhaps the worst thing Mr. Orange inflicted on Maggie though was his extreme jealousy and lack of trust. Because he proved to be so untrustworthy himself, he believed that everyone else was like him. He constantly phoned Maggie at her work, grilling her on what she was doing; how she got to work that day (remember, he took over her car); what was she going to do on her break.
Whenever they were together, Mr. Orange continued his non-stop interrogations. Once again, Maggie found herself stuck in a most abusive relationship.
For the next four years, it was on-again, off-again. Like many single moms, Maggie feared that no one else would want her. She clung desperately to what she already had, trying to make it work, all the while knowing that this relationship was most toxic!
One day, Mr. Orange asked Maggie to have a child with him. At first, Maggie was reluctant as she already had a young daughter to look after without any help or support from her partner. Also, Maggie’s own family had pretty much abandoned her by this time as they totally disapproved of this relationship. Maggie was alone in her decision. Eventually though, she thought that this might be the key to getting her relationship back on its feet and settled down.
The new baby daughter changed NOTHING. If anything, it gave Mr. Orange more reason to escape. He continued to use Maggie for all she was worth while giving nothing back. Finally, after four years, Maggie pulled the plug.
Some Things Never Change
Even today, Mr. Orange proves to be a most unreliable and unfit dad. He cancels access with his now six-year-old daughter whenever it suits him, which is quite often. He wouldn’t even see the child during Christmas, leaving a gap of six weeks between visitations!
On the occasions when there is access, the young girl is subjected to a weekend of toxicity as her dad and his partner argue and fight abusively for much of the time. Even though he is able, her dad won’t even drive her back and forth to access, delegating the job to his partner’s brother. When it comes to his daughter, this Mr. Orange is always looking for the easiest way out. The child is already showing reluctance when it is time to visit her dad. Who can blame her? She can feel she is not wanted!
The Brighter Side of Orange
The entire previous scenario paints a very negative picture of Orange. While it accurately displays the characteristics as applied to this situation, that is not to say that Oranges are ‘bad’. In fact, in the right circumstances, there is often no better person than an Orange to have at your side.
Some of Orange’s stronger qualities include:
……… * Straight forward
……… * Easy going
……… * Good negotiators
……… * Great multitaskers
……… * Friendly
……… * Flexible
……… * Decisive
An example of a good Orange might be a paramedic. Their work requires all the great qualities of the color Orange especially in the area of being able to make quick and accurate decisions. For sure, this is exactly the type of person you want when you are going through a crisis.
As for our two dads, Maggie learned a lot from her experiences with Mr. Gold and Mr. Orange. She knew the good qualities she desired from each one. She especially knew what she didn’t like and would no longer tolerate. This prepared her for Mr. Green (um, that would be me). We’ve saved the best for last! More on the color Green in our next and final installment.
All the best from Toronto,
Russ and Maggie
The world can seem like a crazy place sometimes…
OK, a LOT of the time! However, no matter what is going on in your life, magic happens when you learn how to choose better feelings now!
You’re Gonna Love That Feeling
Back to Charles:
So did you recognize any Oranges in your life? Of course, most Orange types won’t be such pure examples as the one in Russ’s profile. Usually the types are modified or diluted by having a sub-type of another color, which can make the person a bit easier to take.
But just remember the old proverb, if life hands you an Orange, just make orange juice.
None of this is intended as an indictment or a criticism of any of the color types. It’s for your reference so you’ll know better how to deal with the people you meet.
Got a boss, a spouse or a child who drives you nuts? Maybe you just need to develop a better understanding of who they are and why they behave the way they do. Once you know what to expect from a person in any given situation, it’s easier to be prepared. You’re less likely to be caught off balance or be disappointed by their unexpected behavior.
In this case, knowledge really is power.
Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles
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