Yep, making excuses… we all do it whether we recognize it or not. If you don’t think that’s true, let me list a few of the more common phrases we use to introduce an excuse.

• I wasn’t able to…
• I can’t really…
• That’s not what I…
• It wasn’t something that we…
• I don’t want to, don’t like to…
• I’m not very talented at…
• It was too…
• I was too…
• They were too…
• It’s going to be too…

See what I mean? If you ever find yourself prefacing a statement with one of these phrases, you ARE about to make an excuse about SOMETHING.

So why do we do this? Why this unending flood of blame-shifting?

First, let’s not make this more complicated than it needs to be. (Because as soon as we start explaining “why,” we’re on the verge of more excuses, whether we realize it or not.)

Instead, let’s just recognize that most behavior is little more than habit. It’s just the way we customarily do things. No particular reason needed. Just habit.

And to change a habit, all we need to do is start practicing something different. Just that. Some new habits come easily, others come slowly, but keep practicing and sooner or later, we have a new habit, something we do unthinkingly and automatically. And our self image – who we think we are – is no exception.

This week, guest author Thea Westra brings us an armload of lessons from one of my favorite books.

Make No Excuse For Yourself
By Thea Westra

Take on board any, single, one of the following statements that I’ve extracted from Chapter 2 in “Advanced Formula for Total Success” by Dr. Robert Anthony and “live in” the conscious awareness and belief of that statement, then be assured that…yourselves, your lives, your actions and the results that you produce will be forever transformed.

So here they are:

“We need to be aware that … no amount of willpower, effort, determination or commitment will cause us to be any other way … we’re always going to act the way we see ourselves” [p.17]

Charles’s Comment:
In other words, anytime you “fight” your self image, you’ll lose the battle. It doesn’t take fight; it takes a new image (a new habitual way of thinking who you are.)

“It’s not an ego trip to affirm your own perfection. It’s an ego trip not to affirm your own perfection” [p.19]

And it takes a lot more effort to keep up the pretense that, in all the universe, you’re the one special case incapable of success.

“Even though you may have built your personality through imitation, you’re not a fraud. No one else has ever put together the exact same combination that you have” [p.20]

The greatest, most world-renowned artists, musicians, inventors, leaders – every one – began by learning the basics from someone else. They imitated before they reached genius. Will you keep yourself trapped there in the learning phase forever, holding yourself back from your own natural genius?

“You must be able to stand before the entire world and make no excuse for yourself” [p.21]

I invite you to stand beside me, look life straight in the eye and declare boldly, “I am.”

“Make a decision to give up all resentment right now” [p.23]

That’s right, resentment is just another cheap little excuse. Somebody kept you from… whatever it was, so it’s their fault, not yours.

“If you had a friend who treated you like you treat yourself, or talked to you the way that you talk to yourself, and broke commitments to you the way that you break commitments to yourself, do you think you’d keep him as a friend?” [p.25]

Now spend some time thinking about that idea, and considering how you’d rather be treated.

“You don’t have to have permission from others to change your life” [p.26]

Waiting for somebody to say it’s okay before you start making changes within yourself is yet another excuse. We’re still shifting the blame.

“To experience your own magnificence requires that you separate ‘what you have’ and ‘what you do’ from ‘who you are’” [p.27]

What you have and do will never define who you are – they are dependant variables. In other words, they are effects, not causes.

“Happiness exists when the mind is not removed from itself, when it remains in the present time zone, and when it declines to contrast itself with other times or conditions” [p.29]

How do you live in the now? Here’s a secret: where the majority of your energy is invested, that’s where you’re living. Think about all those events in the past that you regret… all those future things that you’re dreading. Now begin withdrawing your emotional energy from them. Still not sure how? One elegant and simple way to reclaim your energy is the Sedona Method. Another is EFT Tapping. Just do it.

“You are spiritually whole, complete and perfect, and your success in life will be in direct proportion to your ability to accept this truth about yourself” [p.29]

All excuses are efforts to avoid the magnificent truth of who you are and what you’re capable of. Stop avoiding that truth, and you’ve stopped making excuses. You’re either doing one, or you’re doing the other.

Take particular note of:

“You must be able to stand before the entire world and make no excuse for yourself.”

Most of us feel that living without excuses leaves us vulnerable and naked. But excuses are the Emperor’s new clothes. Nobody believes ‘em, but most people are too polite to tell you how silly they are.

This one takes some vigilance and practice. I imagine that it always will. Even that is simply just another belief. We can replace that in a moment, right?

Note: The latest version of this book by Dr. Robert Anthony is titled “Beyond Positive Thinking: A No-Nonsense Formula for Getting the Results You Want” and can be found at Amazon.com

© Thea Westra is the senior thought leader at her Forward Steps site. She resides in Perth, Australia with her ultra-supportive partner Greg. Thea publishes a monthly ezine (among many other publications and products) at http://www.forwardsteps.com.au Enjoy her life success blogs at http://www.timeformylife.com/blogs.htm and get personally connected here, http://www.ask-thea-about.com

Back to Charles:
More than nine years ago, while I was lying in a hospital in Japan, recovering from an angioplasty operation, I read Robert Anthony’s “Advanced Formula for Total Success” three times straight through. That book quickly became a mass of underlining and highlighting. I even had my wife bring my notebook computer so I could make an outline of the entire book.

Did it change the direction of my life? You decide. Shortly after returning home, I began gradually closing out my editing business that I’d run for nearly 20 year and started my first self-help website and ezine. That was also about the time I began selling my new ebook (Command More Luck).

And every bit of that flowed from who I was becoming – who I was changing into.

So are there directions you’d love to go, things you long to do, adventures you wish would make you late for dinner? If so, turn your attention to who you are.

At the first sign of an excuse (remember the list above), say with me, “I stand straight, proud and unflinching before the world. I refuse to wear excuses. They’re the Emperor’s new clothes, and I am strong-minded enough simply to be me. I am who I am, and I accept that. Proudly, I am.”

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles