True Colors – Are You a True Blue Type?
The study of personality types is fascinating territory, especially when we start learning to use the way different types interact with each other.
For example, have you ever felt that someone you know – perhaps your partner – can sometimes act uncomfortably clingy or maybe just too damn helpful? Maybe they’re not really. Maybe they’re only acting true to type – their blue type – and you’re REacting true to your own type. This can cause “unexplainable” clashes.
Learning to comprehend the different types can help eliminate the misunderstandings from our interactions. Today, guest columnist Russ Hamel continues his series on the four personality types set forth in the True Colors system as he asks us…
What Makes You Blue? (and we’re not talking sad)
By Russ Hamel
The Reason We Behave So Differently
We are all various combinations of Blue, Gold, Orange and Green. Therefore at any given time we can display any or all of the traits and characteristics of one particular color. For example, you will act completely different at Great-Aunt Gertrude’s 95th birthday party than you would at your college dorm mixer.
However, we also all have natural tendencies that, when observed over time, can be grouped and categorized. These ‘labels’ assist in explaining who we are and why we act the way we do most of the time.
Today we are looking at some of the natural tendencies for the color Blue. For my illustrations I don’t have to look any further than my own relationship. Maggie’s primary color is Blue and she fits most descriptions of that category to a T. I have Blue as my secondary color, with my natural habits falling into the Green classification. So while I can relate to and understand Maggie’s Blue, there are significant contrasts to set up some serious challenges and road blocks unless we’re both extremely conscious of our behavior.
Caretaker
One of the hallmarks of Blue people is that they always put others first. Yes, most of us can become caretakers in extraordinary times when a loved one is sick or injured. The difference with Blues is that they put other people first ALL of the time.
By contrast, Greens like to take care of themselves. They think they are doing others a favor by doing their own thing quickly and then getting out of the way.
Take the day I made myself a couple of tuna sandwiches for lunch. I knew what I wanted. I knew exactly how I liked my sandwich to be prepared. Maggie saw that I had four slices of bread in the toaster. She thought, “Cool, he’s making lunch for all of us.”
I can’t tell you how shocked and upset she was when she discovered that I had made those two sandwiches for myself. I was proud that I was so fast and efficient, making my lunch in under three minutes.
Had she made lunch, there would have been a long Q+A process because Blues are pleasers. They want to make sure they get everything just right. As a Green, I don’t have the time or patience for endless choices. In fact, I usually can be done with preparation AND eating in the time it takes a Blue to go through Q+A.
However, the disastrous consequence is that Blue ends up feeling unappreciated. And that, my friends, is NOT a good thing.
Another aspect of Blue’s caretaker trait is the REASON they do it and that is to make everyone happy. By contrast, a Gold personality will look after someone because they feel it is part of their duty, almost like a job description. Golds just need to get the job DONE to the accepted standards and protocol. Happiness is not the main objective.
Passionate and Enthusiastic
Blues care… I mean, they REALLY care. And they have no problem letting you know about it. Intellectual Green and Gold will be more reserved and actually consider emotional expression to be a block to building better relationships.
Blues love to share excitement. Their natural enthusiasm is often contagious enough to win others over. The more joy and happiness they spread, the more they feel appreciated. Sometimes though, when their target audience is busy or preoccupied, Blues can be left to feel unloved.
When Blues are upset, they want to clear the air… IMMEDIATELY. Hindsight being 20/20, Maggie agrees that this trait contributed greatly to the toe-to-toe battles that most often turned ugly and abusive with her previous two relationships.
Mr. Green (that’s ME) on the other hand avoids confrontation at all costs. I withdraw at the first sign of trouble. Both of these extremes are detrimental to Blues. It takes conscious effort on ALL sides to make Blue feel understood and appreciated without scaring Green (or other intellectual types) away.
Cooperative Loves Building Teams
Maggie and other true Blues thrive on harmony and happiness. When we first got together, Maggie told me that her dream was to build a role-model relationship for her two daughters; to show them that it WAS possible to have a healthy relationship.
Her attitude is the same at work. It is what has moved her rapidly up the ranks from mere receptionist to a highly valued (and paid) member of the admin team in less than three years.
Again, we ALL say we want to get along. However, if you are like me, you’ll find that your natural tendency towards independence and autonomy are not exactly conducive to team building. I’ll support Maggie in achieving her own wants and needs. When it comes to my own, I’d much rather do things for and by myself, given the choice.
Blues are True Romantics
Holding hands, hugging and verbalizing a plethora of I Love You’s each and every day makes for a happy and harmonious environment. Just what Blues crave. It’s like they can’t get enough.
Blues HATE saying goodbye, often lingering at the exit for 30 minutes or more. They are never the first to let go.
As you can imagine, other personality types may easily find this too smothering… simply too much! (like me, sometimes) Again, it takes knowledge of yourself AND your partner to work out a balance that is right for both of you.
That’s why if you are serious about building and maintaining a great relationship, the study of the ideas in True Colors may be one of the best investments of time and energy you can make.
The next article in this series will touch on some general characteristics of the color Gold. In the meantime, go back and see if you can relate to the Blue traits. There’s a good chance you do since the majority of people on the planet exhibit Blue as their primary color.
Also, by understanding your own natural inclinations as you relate to others, you may see for the first time why things are the way they are. Approach this study with curiosity and a wide open mind. The color palette of life will astound you!
All the best from Toronto,
Russ and Maggie
The world can seem like a crazy place sometimes…
OK, a LOT of the time! However, no matter what is going on in your life, magic happens when you learn how to choose better feelings now! You’re Gonna Love That Feeling
Back to Charles:
Donno about you, but I’m enjoying this series. Most “experts” like to give us dry facts, statistics and theory. Russ, on the other hand, illustrates exactly what he’s talking about with experiences from his own life. Is that gutsy or what?
So look around you. Are you possibly a blue or a green? Is someone near you one of these colors? If so, maybe you’re now getting a clearer notion of why your interactions so often go as they do. Even better, you may now be gaining a clearer understanding of why others seem so hell-bent on doing the goofy, illogical things they do… you know, the things that sometimes drive you so nuts.
Once we start looking past the surface of each person’s behavior into the needs within the personality that drive that behavior, we’re stepping into Compassion Land where empathy (and harmony) can come alive.
Next week, Russ will continue this series with another look at colorful personalities and how to get along with them.
Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles
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