Understanding other people can be pretty hard. But compared with understanding ourselves, getting a handle on other folks’ thinking can seem downright simple. That’s why so many very smart people have been studying this subject for so very long – thousands of years, actually.

And every other week, it seems, somebody comes out with a new “system” for classifying and codifying human behavior. Of course, not all systems are created equal. Some are simply less accurate than others. What do I mean by accurate? Just this.

If you can learn the system, then go out in the real world and dependably predict what the various types of people will do in certain situations, then you have a tool that helps people get along and understand each other more successfully.

Unfortunately, most so-called systems are pretty hard to use unless you have a strong technical background in psychology, or in sales or the like.

Today, guest columnist Russ Hamel shares with us a new system for understanding personalities, which truly is usable by us ordinary mortals. But I warn you, Russ does use some pretty colorful language here.

That’s Not You… So Why Do You Act Like That?
By Russ Hamel

Why Did He Do That?

The first time Ug slugged Iggy over the head with his club, two things immediately happened. Obviously Iggy shrieked, “UGA-UGA” which is caveman speak for “Ouch-ee-wow-wa!” The second thing that happened is that Iggy wondered, “WHY did he DO that?”

Thus began the study of human nature and interactions. Since the beginning of time, people have longed to understand the behavior of others. Over days, weeks, months and years, with enough observation, predictable patterns became evident. Iggy noticed that whenever she did something Ug didn’t like, Ug would slug her over the head with his club. Ug saw that whenever he slugged Iggy over the head with his club, she ALWAYS reacted the same way:

….. * Iggy rubbed her head and screamed “UGA-UGA”

….. * She demanded to know WHY Ug did that to her (as if she didn’t already know)

….. * She usually plotted and deployed some type of revenge when he least expected it

Throughout the ensuing millennia, this cycle continued, growing in complexity often involving entire groups and nations of people. Yes, nations – like individuals – have distinct personalities and characteristics which are accurate predictors in recurring situations. History truly does repeat itself!

Who Told You I’m Like That?

While the need to understand human behavior is hard-wired into each of us, there have been only a handful of folks in history who have made it a lifelong study. Hippocrates (circa 400 BC) was one of the first philosophers to document his observations of human behavior into four categories with labels such as Phlegmatic, Choleric, Melancholic and Sanguine (say WHAT?). Hyper-fast forward to the 20th century with the work of Carl Jung, Isabel Myers and Katherine Briggs, as well as personality and temperament typing pioneers David Kiersey and Marylin Bates, and you’ll see the similar use of four main categories.

However, unless you’re deeply entrenched in the study of philosophy and psychology, these highly revered works are mostly lost on the common man without proper interpretation.

UNTIL…

…Don Lowry and his incredibly simplified, yet astonishingly accurate, ‘True Colors’. Introduced in 1978, True Colors has finally put within reach of every person the answers to their most pressing question, “Why do people behave the way they do?” No longer do you need a degree in philosophy and/or psychology. Don delivers his message in a most interesting, informative and entertaining way… and in plain language that even a grade-schooler can understand.

Maggie and I are like kids with new toys at Christmas whenever either one of us discovers another personality study tool. Because she is studying to be a career counselor, Maggie has been exposed to many more personality assessment materials than I ever could imagine existed. When she brought home True Colors, we found ourselves using it on EVERYBODY, even on the characters in the movies and TV shows we watched.

However, the most convincing part for me was that with Maggie’s skillful counseling, I was finally able to understand MY OWN behaviors. That’s how I KNOW that the work of True Colors is stunningly authentic. I’ll have lots of stories and examples to share as this series progresses.

You Don’t Really Know Me

One of the most controversial conversations Maggie and I have had surrounds gift-giving. The tradition of her Chinese culture is to give something they perceive is of highest value, whether or not the recipient will actually appreciate or use the item.

For example, as a music teacher, I receive gifts from my students particularly around Christmas, my birthday and other special occasions. One adult Asian student in particular made it a regular practice to give me an expensive Swarovsky Crystal piece each year for five consecutive years. A quick check in my local jewelry store priced these gifts at no less than $75 each!

Call me crazy but…

I gave each of those pieces away to someone who appreciated and treasured them. (Of course, I never revealed to my student what I did with those gifts. As far as she knows, I still have them on display in a hermetically sealed curio case at home.) However, to me these pieces were merely dust collectors… clutter. When I told Maggie, she was absolutely horrified that I could be so callous and cruel. Some of you may be thinking the very same thing now as well.

Yes, when it comes to home decor, I am a bare-wall minimalist. But before you fence me in and label me as a non-collector and a totally unappreciative jerk, allow me to show you my hard drive full of downloaded eBooks and information, most of which I’ve never read and probably never will. Had my student taken the time to find out what I valued – information, especially in the form of personal development books and home-study courses – I’d be singing her praises today.

How Will YOU Use These Tools?

Some skeptics will quickly write this off as just another over-generalized ‘system’ of interpreting human behavior, to be lumped in with horoscopes and fortune cookies. That’s just it though… humans have a need to put things into compartments – little fenced in areas to be isolated and quarantined.

One of the dangers with categories is that many people will use them to pigeon-hole and stereotype others. It’s true that we have predominant tendencies both by nature and nurture. But people are far too complex to be labelled simply as one thing or another.

The ‘True Color’ system is divided into four main categories: Blue, Gold, Orange and Green. Each has its own unique attributes. Here are some things to keep in mind before you are tempted to use the categories to fence people in:

• Everyone has their own unique combination of ALL four colors.
• While we have one – and more often two – of the colors that are dominant, on any given day and in diverse situations the least dominant colors may come shining through.
• People are extremely complex with many variables, two of the most common being introvert vs. extrovert. The color interpretations are quite different between just these two variables.
• The way people interact with one color combination vs. another can be perceived as different. Of course you’ve seen this with yourself and with people you know… you may be stifled and reserved with one person, and completely comfortable and relaxed with another.

On With the Show…

You get the idea. The list of variables is as endless as there are people. Therefore, keep in mind that ‘True Colors’ or any personality dimension assessment tool is just that… a tool to assist you in understanding another person.

Now that we’ve covered a brief history of the study of human behavior, as well as the cautions against using the tools to label and corral people, we are ready to move on to the good stuff. Our next article will explore the color of the highest percentage of people on the planet, Blue. There’s a good chance you’ll ‘discover’ yourself there and perhaps for the first time in your life, understand WHY you are the way you are.

All the best from Toronto,
Russ and Maggie

The world can seem like a crazy place sometimes…
OK, a LOT of the time! However, no matter what is going on in your life, magic happens when you learn how to choose better feelings now!
You’re Gonna Love That Feeling

Back to Charles:
Eager to find out more about this color coded system? Ready to understand more about yourself and other people? Then stick around. Russ will return shortly with the next installment in this series.

And as he opens up the rainbow of humanity before us, we’ll be able to gain a greater appreciation for all types of folks.

What happens when understanding comes is that fear and mistrust quickly exit out the back door, leaving us more open to others. Pretty good reason for acquiring knowledge, isn’t it?

So I leave you with this question – how would you be living your life if there were no longer any trace of mistrust of others within you? It may take some effort, some real stretching of your mind on this one, but follow this one as far out as you can. How WOULD you be living?

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles