A few years back, I ran an article on gratitude, and challenged readers to find ten things each day to be thankful for. Many readers sent wonderful responses, telling how, overnight, their lives had become much happier and more fulfilling. But I still remember Gladys (not her real name).

Gladys wrote me back an email enumerating a long, long list of complaints and problems she was NOT thankful for, so she couldn’t be happy. I responded that she’d gotten the assignment quite backwards and should try again. I even suggested a few ways to look at her situation differently.

Back came more complaints – this time more forceful, more insistent, more angry. Without saying it in so many words, Gladys was insisting on her RIGHT to be pissed off at the world. It was treating her roughly, and she by-gawd wasn’t going to let it pass.

After a few more emails, I realized – all over again – that all self help is SELF help, that it must come from within. And some folks, like Gladys, simply are not ready to change their minds about life or anything else. They’re too busy enjoying their anger and self pity. They’ve practiced it for years, and they’re GOOD at it.

If you’re also doggedly hanging on to your anger, resentment and hate, no website is going to help you. It’s only when you start turning loose of all that STUFF that you’ll begin to find some joy in life.

That said, if you’re ready to make some changes and leave Gladys behind, we have some excellent advice on how you can turn loose of stinkin’ thinkin’. Today’s guest author Valery Satterwhite, the superstar mindset mentor and coach, asks us…

Life Stinks? How to Detach From Your Garbage Truck
By Valery Satterwhite

Life stinks!!

If that statement bubbled up in your thoughts recently then you may be attached to life-decaying, garbage-truck thinking. Simply put, if you stuff your mind with garbage you will create stinky outcomes. If you focus upon all that is bad in your life you will only add to the garbage dump that is becoming your daily experience.

Garbage in, Garbage out

Let’s say you’re rushing to get to work on the 405 freeway when another driver cuts in front of you and slams on the brakes. You toot your horn forcefully to give him a warning as you avoid a whopper of a fender bender. He responds with a slew of obscenities and the ubiquitous finger punctuator. It happens – a lot – if you live in a busy metropolis such as Los Angeles.

In that moment you have a choice. You can raise your fickle finger of fate in response or smile and count your blessings that you’re not that guy. Yikes, what a miserable way to live. By smiling you have kept negative feelings and energy right where it came from – from that guy. If you responded with your own favorite flip off gesture you would have taken on his garbage as yours. Pissed off, your focus is negatively directed. You will cloud your vision with so much dust and dirt and wonder why you cannot see.

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”
- Ziggy, Tom Wilson comic strip panel

Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows

Some people are like garbage trucks. They run around packed to the hilt with garbage. Their life energy is full of anger, frustration and disappointment. Their conversations are filled with complaints. They find excuses and reasons why they can’t be, do or have what they want, blaming others for their misfortune. The acronym for Finding Excuses And Reasons is FEAR and when you’re in fear you Fight Everything And Reek of stinky experiences.

With a mind full of garbage these car wrecks waiting to happen will constantly seek places to dump their load. And they will dump it on you. They can dump all they want. It is up to you whether or not you take on their garbage for yourself. If you take on the garbage that can be found in the misguided lives of many people and events in your life then you, too, become a stinky garbage truck creating rotten experiences spreading your trash and stinking up your life. What’s worse is as queen of your own compost heap you’ll get used to the smell.

Be mindful of your thoughts. Pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth. Are you a trash talker? I’m not talking about using a four letter word or two to add a little color to your expression – as long as it’s positive. Are you focused upon what’s not right in your life and in your world? What you lack instead of what you have? Are you finding a lot to complain about? If so, you’re attached to a stinky garbage truck life perspective picking up and dumping more trash every where you go.

“Thoughts are things; they have tremendous power. Thoughts of doubt and fear are pathways to failure. When you conquer negative attitudes of doubt and fear you conquer failure. Thoughts crystallize into habit and habit solidifies into circumstances.”
- Bryan Adams, Canadian rock singer-songwriter and photographer

To let go of the garbage bags you’ve been carrying around to stink up the place, find the value in every experience, good and bad. This gem is often disguised as a life-affirming lesson to be learned. Take the note and apply the lesson to clean up your act or create more of the good stuff. Speak and act in the direction of your dreams and your days will reflect the sweetest smelling rose in the garden of life.

Valery Satterwhite is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out self-sabotaging behavior that can land them in the National Enquirer! Empower the Wizard Within http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free tips!

Back to Charles:
Yes, there are ways for looking at life and seeing the good stuff. And it doesn’t take rose-colored glasses. All it takes is looking for the good… even in the worst situations. And believe it or not, it IS there. It’s always there, just waiting for you to open your eyes and see it.

How else can we explain all those people who are happy in the self-same world that makes so many others so UN-happy? (Hint – it’s got nothing to do with luck.)

Happiness or sadness. Joy or discontent. Everything comes down to making a choice, and then sticking to that choice through whatever comes your way. True, sometimes we have to defend our choice. That’s part of sticking to it. But it’s worth it.

Example – happily married couples always say the same thing: they have to work at making a successful relationship. In other words, they defend their choice and make sure it keeps working FOR them instead of against them.

So why not do the same for your entire life? Smell something reeking in your mood? Make an instant decision and go to work changing it. Simple as that.

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles