To Build Persistence Mind the Gaps
When we’re trying to build our motivation and strengthen our persistence, there’s one easy, dead-simple test that’ll always tell us how we’re doing. It’s the gaps…
And yet, even though this is a crystal clear indicator of our current effectiveness, we often avoid looking at it, and even go to great lengths to avoid seeing it. Why? Because there’s a missing element in our system.
We know that if we look – and see we’re falling behind, we’re often not sure what to do about it. So instead, we don’t look. We just pretend that all is well, until all is well screwed up.
To discover what that missing element is, let’s turn to today’s guest author John Watson, who asserts that you can…
Achieve Your Goals by Avoiding the Gaps and Believing in Yourself
By John Watson
If you want to achieve your goals, avoid the gaps. “What gaps?” you ask. The gaps in taking action on your goals.
Many years ago, I and a friend decided to attend a weekly cartoon class to achieve the goal of learning to draw cartoons.
The teacher would hand out some cartoons and tell us to copy them. For two hours we, and the entire class, would patiently copy these cartoons. Van Gogh had a similar method for teaching himself to draw and paint. He copied the work of experts until he developed his own style.
We did not have the genius of Van Gogh but our cartoon skills gradually improved. We then decided we did not need to attend lessons. We could quite easily copy cartoons in our own homes. You can guess what happened.
Straying into the Gap
We stopped attending classes and as the gap in our attendance grew in length, we also stopped copying cartoons. Improving our cartoon skills became something we would do tomorrow and tomorrow never came.
A similar thing happens when my martial arts students allow gaps to appear in their attendance. The gaps will gradually become bigger and bigger until eventually they drop out of the class and never achieve their goal of reaching black belt standard. They lose touch with their ambitions and dreams.
If they had only kept attending, they might have noticed the improvement in their martial skills and regained the enthusiasm which started them on the road to their goal in the first place. They would have started to see themselves as potential black belts and kept training.
The gaps in attendance can appear at any time. Some students leave after their first lesson even though they appear to have learned some valuable skills and to have exceeded their own expectations. Maybe they felt they had learned enough or did not want to spend money on lessons.
Others leave after they have passed one or more gradings. Some, surprisingly, leave just before they are due to take their black belt grading. Perhaps they do not believe deep down that they can pass the grading.
The Gap Always Seems Logical
Some students say they will return to training later, but few do. There are one or two rare exceptions who train sporadically and, after about nine years, they eventually, and almost reluctantly, reach black belt!
Many martial arts students give up when they get injured or ill. I was once unable to train for a year but I kept in touch anyway by attending the classes and filming the lessons. The videos have since proved invaluable and I, later, achieved my goals and more.
There is always something you can do to keep your interest alive. Just make sure you avoid the gaps in your daily training or practice and you are in with a fighting chance of achieving some at least of your goals.
Gaps Grow out of Disbelief
One major cause of gaps is a lack of belief in what you are doing or in yourself. Dieters start to think they are wasting their time eating vegetables and so they return to their crisps and other junk food. Artists lose faith in their talent and think they lack the ability to produce good work. They stop drawing and painting. Business people believe they will lose rather than make money. They watch TV instead.
Unless you believe strongly that you can achieve your goal you will give up, lose momentum and allow gaps to appear in your daily training and/or other practices. You will lack the energy and drive necessary to keep going step by step until you reach your desired goals.
Decide, instead, that you WILL believe in your ability to achieve success and that you will persist until you actually do succeed. Decide, in advance, that if you start thinking you are wasting your time, you will keep practising anyway for a few months at least.
The Secret Ingredient
If others can achieve their goals, why not you? You will never know until you try with all your heart. If you lack belief, pretend that you have it. Visualize and affirm your success daily. Realize that without belief in yourself and what you are doing, you will probably fail.
Understand that your belief in yourself and your training will grow as you achieve one small success after another. Understand that failures are only stepping stones to eventual success so long as you keep going. One of Winston Churchill’s favourite acronyms was KBO – ‘Keep Blundering On.’ Winston used another word for ‘blundering’ which might not pass the censors!
Avoid the gaps and allow your belief in yourself to generate the energy and determination you need to keep advancing towards the goals you most desire.
Is it Persistence or Discipline?
If possible train or take action every day or every other day. I try to walk, lift weights and practise nunchaku every day. I feel something is missing when a gap appears in this routine.
I have just persuaded my long suffering sister to listen to this article. She came up with another way of ensuring that you avoid the gaps and achieve your goal.
Make Sure You Have a Worthwhile Motive
If you write articles like this just to make money, you are less likely to write valuable articles than if you really want to help people turn their lives around and achieve their goals.
If you want a black belt just to show off, you are less likely to achieve your goal than if you train hard to protect your family and yourself.
I will finish with a great quote from Lee McIntyre
“If you don’t believe that you can succeed you will never find the energy and the drive to make things happen.”
John Watson is an award winning teacher and 5th degree blackbelt martial arts instructor. He has written several ebooks on motivation and success topics. Several of these can be found at his website: http://www.motivationtoday.com You can also find motivational ebooks by authors like Stuart Goldsmith.
Back to Charles:
Belief in yourself. Everybody caught that, right? And if we can’t quite manage real belief, then pretend we have it and carry on anyway.
There’s one other crucial factor, and although John doesn’t mention it directly, it’s present in the examples he gives. And that is to associate with other like-minded people who have similar goals.
In many cases, this means attending classes and learning from experts and spending your time with other students also interested in the discipline you’re studying. As long as you continue to attend classes and associate with others going the same direction, your motivation is easier to maintain.
But as soon as you cut yourself off from that circle of friends and acquaintences, your own motivation begins to sag.
This is one common problem people run into when trying to motivate themselves at home alone, because their environment is impoverished. It offers them little or no support and reinforcement.
You don’t have to do it all alone – in fact in most cases you shouldn’t. What can you do to find the all-important circle of like-minded people? There are several avenues:
- Hire a well-qualified coach
- Find an online forum and join it
- Join a membership site
- Join a study group or master mind group (or start one)
- Sign up for classes
- If you know someone qualified, ask them to mentor you
On this last point, if you’re lucky enough to find a good mentor, do the things they tell you to do. Don’t quibble, don’t make excuses, just follow their instructions. After all, they’ve blazed the trail and know the territory. That’s why you went to them in the first place. So if you’ve asked for their advice, and they’re good enough to give it, then it’s your job to accept it and implement it.
In most cases, you already know the things to do to keep moving yourself forward. What stops us most commonly is, as John said, simple lack of belief in ourselves. If you’re wrestling with this, stop wrestling with it alone. Go get reinforcements.
And if you’re going to do it, then why not just… do it now.
Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles
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