If you’ve ever had little problems following through on goals or resolutions, here are some quick hints you can use to keep yourself moving forward and on target.

DON’T BUY YOUR OWN BS

Let’s say you’re writing a book and have set a goal to write five hundred words every single day, no matter what.

You get off to a good start and for the first couple of weeks you keep to your schedule – five hundred words or more, as regular as clockwork.

But then one hectic Monday morning you get up late, have to take time off from work for a medical appointment, work late to get caught up, then get home and the refrigerator is bare. Grocery shopping, some urgent laundry, then a depressed friend calls and needs an hour and a half of reassurance. By then it’s half-past your bedtime and your brain is half-past fried.

Writing now is out of the question, you reason. After all, you’re in a lousy, non-creative mood, exhausted, behind schedule on everything else in your life, and besides, your feet hurt.

You can skip one night, right? Being kind to yourself is a logical thing to do under the circumstances, isn’t it?

Well, yes and no. Yes, kindness to yourself is a good idea, and no, you’re feeding yourself a line of BS… a lie.

You may not like hearing this, but it’s mercilessly, cold-bloodedly true. An excuse is an excuse is an excuse no matter how logical it may seem. No matter how much easier it makes your life at this particular moment.

Take a different case. Let’s say a bank promises to lend you $10,000. But when you arrive to pick up the check, they tell you they simply haven’t had a chance to get around to it yet, and could you please come back next week… maybe they’ll have it ready by then. How would you feel about that?

Sure they have some logical excuses. But does that really make it all right with you? Face it, you don’t really care about that, do you? You only know their word is crap.

And if you don’t keep your own promises to yourself, you know the same thing about yourself. Your word is crap. Oh, you may never consciously say it out loud to yourself, but no matter how much you “believe” your own excuses, deep down in your gut you do know your word isn’t worth much. That’s the reason you feel that little lump of uncertainty when you start setting goals.

So if something comes up which stops you from carrying out your appointed task for the day, don’t excuse it, whatever else you do.

ONLY ALLOW REAL SELF-KINDNESS

Let’s get this straight in our minds. Being gentle with ourselves does not include making and accepting excuses.

But at the same time, self-discipline does not involve beating ourselves up anytime we miss a target… after all, this is the real world we live in, and sometimes targets do get missed. Missed targets can result from poor planning, unexpected events, depleted energy, flagging interest…. all sorts of things can happen.

That doesn’t make it okay, but it doesn’t make it a crime either. So how about a compromise? You don’t feel like writing those 500 words tonight, but it’s one of your “must-do” items. Why not sit down and type out a quick summary of what’s coming in the next couple of chapters. It’s not hard brainwork, but it’s on topic and it’s keeping your promise to yourself. Once into it, you may even find some useful ideas coming to you. If not, no tragedy. Just get it done.

But don’t take the easy way too often. That’d be building the wrong habit.

Just think with me for a moment. Isn’t it interesting that some people’s lives don’t get derailed as often as others’ do? Some people simply keep things together and on track better, while others run a completely different pattern.

Again, this doesn’t make one person “good” or the other person “bad.” These are just patterns of behavior, and behaviors can be learned.

And un-learned.

Behaviors can be changed, and an excellent place to start is the same way Benjamin Franklin did when he was very young. Ben was observant, and he noticed that successful people behaved differently from the unsuccessful.

He made up a list of 13 “virtues” (positive habits) he wanted to cultivate, then he began. But he did one thing that most people don’t do. He decided to work on just one good habit at a time.

HOW BENJAMIN FRANKLIN DID IT:

I included under thirteen names of virtues all that at that time occurr’d to me as necessary or desirable, and annexed to each a short precept, which fully express’d the extent I gave to its meaning.

These names of virtues, with their precepts, were:

1. TEMPERANCE.Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. SILENCE.Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. ORDER.Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. RESOLUTION.Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. FRUGALITY.Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i. e., waste nothing.
6. INDUSTRY.Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. SINCERITY.Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. JUSTICE.Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. MODERATION.Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. CLEANLINESS.Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
11. TRANQUILLITY.Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. CHASTITY.Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
13. HUMILITY.Imitate Jesus and Socrates.My intention being to acquire the habitude of all these virtues, I judg’d it would be well not to distract my attention by attempting the whole at once, but to fix it on one of them at a time; and, when I should be master of that, then to proceed to another, and so on, till I should have gone thro’ the thirteen…

Pay particular attention to items 4 (Resolution) and 6 (Industry), and especially that phrase, “cut off all unnecessary actions.” In other words, young Ben resolved to teach himself to stop wasting time and energy. People who learn this lesson usually amaze the rest of us by how much they regularly get done. But the truth is, we all have a lot of time — if we aren’t wasting it.

Ben arranged the virtues in a particular order. He rightly figured that some habits were more basic, and that if he mastered the basic ones first, then each of those would help him in acquiring the next and the next.

… and, as the previous acquisition of some might facilitate the acquisition of certain others, I arrang’d them with that view, as they stand above. Temperance first, as it tends to procure that coolness and clearness of head, which is so necessary where constant vigilance was to be kept up, and guard maintained against the unremitting attraction of ancient habits, and the force of perpetual temptations. This being acquir’d and establish’d, Silence would be more easy….

MOST PEOPLE WON’T EVER DO IT

If keeping promises to yourself were easy, everybody would always reach all their goals and being a high achiever wouldn’t be anything special.

But most people don’t keep their promises, precisely because it’s NOT easy. And being a high achiever IS something special.

It’s not special because it’s complicated. It’s special simply because most people just won’t do it. Again, it’s not complicated. It’s just a bit of bother, and that puts it out of the reach of the vast majority. How about you? You’re willing to go to a bit of bother aren’t you?

Isn’t that exactly why you’re trying to figure out how to get it right and follow through on your goals more effectively this time? One of my all-time favorite quotes is, “Motivation is remembering what you want.”

There are two important points in that quote:

1. Remembering, and
2. Wanting

Part 1: HOW TO REMEMBER

If an advertising guy wants you to remember his client’s name, he puts that name in front of you time and time again. He fills television and radio airtime with mentions of it. He places products in movies, he runs newspaper and magazine ads. He runs promotions and gets end-of-aisle displays in stores.

He repeats that name till it’s engraved deep in your brain’s gray matter.

Likewise, if a teacher wants you to remember a fact for an upcoming test, he’ll repeat it endlessly, drilling it into your memory until you could recite it in your sleep.

From the time you were a very small child, anytime you wanted to remember something, you instinctively turned to repetition, saying it over and over until you had it.

As a logical extension, then, what might you do if you wanted to remember your goals? Of course! You repeat them and repeat them and burn them into your brain. This isn’t a complicated idea, right? To entrench something firmly in your mind, you repeat it. A lot.

I repeat: repeat; repeat; repeat; repeat.

Part 2: WHAT YOU WANT

The things that appeal to you are more individual. One person wants to be a great actor while another yearns to be a doctor. Still another wants to spend their days working with plants or animals and communing with nature.

All are good goals if they fit you, but bad ones if they don’t.

However, knowing what you want is not the most common problem. It’s the feeling that you DON’T know — that’s what trips up most people.

Back in July of 2006, I gave you an article titled “How to Really Know What You Want — And Get It.” It’s now in PDF report format, and it’s worth another read. (See? More repetition.)

But the first point in that report is this:

If you don’t know what you want, then it’s because you’re looking in the wrong place for your answer. It’s not a matter of DISCOVERING what you want. You already have hundreds of things you want, but you CAN’T ADMIT THEM to yourself.

The real question you’re seeking an answer for is “What can you HAVE?” (The true answer to that is “anything,” but you may not be able to allow yourself to accept that yet.)

Sure, intellectually you know you can have what you want. That’s why you keep setting goals and objectives. But FEELING that you can have them, that they’re within your reach, or that you DESERVE them… well… that’s a different matter.

If you’re struggling to feel deserving enough to have what you want, then download and read this PDF report “In a Far and Foreign Place.”

And there are a bunch of proactive things you can do to begin taking charge of the way you feel about yourself. Get a couple of good hypnosis tapes on self-worth. Or go to Gary Craig’s EFT website and study how to use the EFT tapping protocol for improving your self image.

But in any case, resolve that you’ll do a lot of repeating. Not just until you get bored with it. That’s not nearly long enough. You’ll need to keep repeating until everything becomes second nature to you, until you practice the new habit without even thinking about it, until you can hardly remember being any other way.

Yep, that’s a lot of repetition. But that’s how you do it. Persistence. Dogged determination. Refusing to give up, even when it feels like you’re never going to succeed at this crazy idea you had. You just keep going. And going. And going. That’s what winners are made of. That’s how successes get where they’re going.

I know that isn’t glamorous, but it’s the way things work.

BUT WHAT ABOUT ‘THE SECRET’?

“Wait a minute, Burke,” I hear you saying, “whatever happened to attracting what you want and having the Universe give it to you? The Law of Attraction?”

What you’re talking about does happen. The Universe does open up shortcuts for us; it does bring us wonderful surprises.

Sometimes… but sometimes it doesn’t.

First, it’ll test you to see if you REALLY want what you say you want. It’ll often expect you to prove your intentions. If you’re just bluffing, the Universe may not waste much resources on you. But if you’re actually serious, if you’re determined to get where you’re going no matter what, then the Universe does the darndest thing… it brings you wonderful little surprises. It gives you the shortcuts and the bonuses that will make your way smoother and easier.

But those bonuses are not OWED to you. They’re GIFTS that are presented to you in love and in joy. I’ve seen many people treat their affirmations and other attraction work like some kind of cosmic vending machine. Putting in their 1,000 repetitions and expecting to get out “my new house”, “my new job”, or “my new car”. Heck, I’ve done it myself.

But as long as you’re doing affirmations to “buy” results, it ain’t gonna happen. Not in a million years.

You know that the best teachers always tell you to “feel the way you’d feel if you already have what you want.” We usually assume that means great joy and gratitude. And we do have that kind of emotional high on the first day we get that new car or new house.

But after you’ve had that new item for a couple of years, the ecstasy wears off, doesn’t it? Live in the most beautiful home for five years, and your feelings are much more matter-of-fact. The house is a natural part of your life now. It fits you like a glove.

Important point: this matter-of-fact acceptance is just as valid a feeling as the joy and gratitude. It’s just as natural and real. So start using this, too. Put yourself down the timeline five or ten years and see if you can generate that feeling of easy, comfortable acceptance.

So there you have a few tips for achieving your goals.

1. Don’t Buy Your Own BS
2. Be Kind to Yourself
3. Work on One New Habit at a Time
4. Be the Exception, Do What Most People Won’t Do
5. Work at Remembering What You Want
6. Feel Deserving Enough to Have What You Want
7. Attraction Is a Love Relationship

Now the question is, are you ready to go forward and do what you’ve promised yourself you’ll do? Hint: it becomes a lot easier if you don’t take any BS from anybody – least of all from yourself.

Want to share what your first step is going to be?

Cheers from warm and smiling Thailand,
Charles

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3. The Magic Shortcut to Alpha Brain Waves
4. ‘Real Self Help’ She Says
5. The REAL Secret to Getting Things Done
6. The Real Reason Your Life Sucks